Sw1943
Beginner October 2020

Bridesmaid Issue

Sw1943, on June 18, 2020 at 1:58 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8
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Hello! I have a bridesmaid who I admittedly asked to be my bridesmaid far too early and without enough thought. My original wedding was cancelled due to covid and she didn’t reach out in my original day and has been selfish and distant ever since. Our friendship wasn’t strong before I asked her and I’ve always put more into the relationship with her. We have had to cut our guest list for the next wedding and the cost per head is INSANE. My gut is telling me to uninvite her but I HATE confrontation. Like more than anything, but she hates it even more.


I have no clue how to uninvite her - but my heart is really telling me I don’t want her to be apart of my most important day now that I have had time to reflect about what the day really means to me.
TLDR: Bridemaid has been distant, gut telling me to uninvite her. Friendship feels like it’s run it’s course, we have nothing in common and it’s been a full time job to tend to the relationship with nothing in return.

8 Comments

Latest activity by Vicky, on June 20, 2020 at 2:44 PM
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    I would just be super honest with her and just write her a note on how you feel. Be firm about your desire to end the friendship that way there’s no misunderstanding of “are we still friends “kind of thing. If you truly feel zero connection and don’t intend on continuing a friendship then who cares how she feels at this point. I would just end it as it will save both her and yourself the heartache in the long run.Be firm about your desire to end the friendship that way there’s no misunderstanding of “are we still friends “kind of thing. If you truly feel zero connection and don’t intend on continuing a friendship then who cares at this point. I would just end it as it will save both her and yourself the heartache and drama in the long run.
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  • Hannah
    Master July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
    • Flag
    If you really think that you want to end your friendship with her, then uninvite her. If you have some hope that you may want to reconcile then I wouldn't. Kicking someone out of your bridal party and uninviting them from a wedding is a friendship ending move that pretty much permanently burns up that bridge. If you opt to uninvite her, I would just tell her that you need to make adjustments to the guest list due to COVID restrictions and that you are unable to offer her an invitation. Normally, I would say just don't say anything, but if she's a bridesmaid then she would probably be certain she was invited.
    • Reply
  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
    • Flag

    I'm sorry you're going through this, but the best thing to do is just be totally honest. Take her out to lunch or give her a call and let her know honestly that you're downsizing the wedding due to covid. If you don't mind losing her completely as a friend then add the brutal honesty of things are just not working out.

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    I would just call her or meet in person and be honest. I'm sure if you're feeling this way, she has some idea the friendship is ending too.

    • Reply
  • K
    Savvy October 2020
    Karen ·
    • Flag

    I can truly say I know what you are going through. I am in the exact same boat and my wedding is in October also. My bridesmaid has all of a sudden become distant. As far as I'm concerned, she is no longer in my wedding, and she is no longer invited. When and if she calls or text, I will let her know. Otherwise, she will figure it out when she doesn't get an invitation. I don't want any toxic energy anywhere near me on my wedding day, or in my life.

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  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
    • Flag
    Simple tell her this wedding you are cutting your bridemaids list as well and thank her for her "time" ...bc overall wuth planning for the second time you are cutting alot of things due ro rescheduling. That's the worst feeling to invest in something or someone you really don't want especailly not for your big day dont matter how small of a wedding it is
    • Reply
  • P
    January 2014
    Pam ·
    • Flag

    It'll be a friendship ending move. If your main motivation to uninvite her is because she didn't reach out to you on the original date, I think that's foolish. You postponed, you didn't break off your engagement. "Selfish and distant" is really too vague for a reason.

    • Reply
  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
    • Flag

    Why would you be upset that she didn't reach out to you on your original planned wedding date?

    • Reply

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