Bridesmaid & i Grew Apart

Kicking her out of your bridal party is a surefire way to end your friendship. Even if you tell her that you asked too many people, it's still pretty hurtful that she's the one you decided to give the boot.

Exactly what Caytlyn said. Asking her to just be a guest will ensure that your relationship will never be the same (and will have a good chance in ending). If you're fine with never having a relationship with this person again, that's your prerogative, but I would definitely just continue with her in the party.

For anyone else reading, this is why it is highly suggested to wait until you are 6-10 months out from the wedding to ask people to be in your party. I know it's exciting to get that detail sorted out (trust me, I wanted to ask my girls right away with my 2 year engagement), but you never know what may happen in the time frame that will change the relationships you have with the people you ask (and it's not a bad thing! Life happens).

I would just keep her in the bridal party and not overthink it

I think it would definitely be in poor taste to ask her to just be a guest. As long as she fulfills her bridesmaids duties and the relationship is still positive though distant i don’t think it’s a real issue.

You guys are right. No need to risk drama when she and I are cool, just not close. Thank you for the advice!

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And maybe this WILL make you closer. You never know. I agree that leaving her in would be the best position. You probably share some good history together that could bring you closer, including this. Many friendships ebb and flow and it isn't always personal; just life intervening. Or personality differerences such as introversion vs. extroversion can manifest the manner and frequency of getting in touch. Or, you'll never see each other again, but no harm done if you're not leaving out someone you'd rather have and can't.

This is a tuff one!!! She shouldn’t be mad... just tell her there has been a change in plans 😂

No I wouldnt advise that at alll...and hoping she has not invest money with buying her things. I would just leave it as is and take it as at least she is putting effort to be in your wedding. Kicking her out will be a big heartless move

You don’t want to try and mend that friendship? Some people drift but I mean you guys could surely hang out some more

View Quoted Comment The friendship isn't broken, but I'm the only one who initiates hanging out or talking. It's not great feeling like you're investing far more in a friendship than the other person is. But I've decided to take everyone's advice and just leave her in the bridal party. Best not to start any drama or risk hurting any feelings!

View Quoted Comment Yes, as previously stated, I decided to just let her be a bridesmaid. Though no money has been invested by any bridesmaid at this point, you're right, it's nice that she's willing to commit to being a bridesmaid

View Quoted Comment You're so right! I'm definitely going to just let the situation be. Her being in it won't ruin anything.

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K.T., I so admire that you put this out there for others' opinions and that you didn't just react impulsively in a way you might later have regretted. The fact that you even asked the question may be your best answer, because often, when there is hesitation, a part of you already knows the answer. That's what friends are for - to confirm your best self. Have a wonderful wedding and who knows what will happen with the friendship, but it doesn't really matter, does it.

View Quoted Comment Dude this is ridiculous. Girl it’s YOUR WEDDING, not anyone else’s including the people commenting on this thread .


YOU do YOU!
If this friend is going to END your friendship because you are dis-inviting her from bridesmaid to guest , then SHE SHOULD NOT BE YOUR BRIDESMAID. If a friendship depends on whether they are picked as bridesmaid or not , then that’s not a real friend .

Please I beg you to NOT do ANYTHING out of obligation.
If you don’t want to have her as bridesmaid , don’t. If she doesn’t want to come to your wedding anymore or be your friend because of that, then GOOD RIDDANCE .
Remember it’s YOUR day! Not the Day of judgement.

View Quoted Comment I hear ya though. I feel like I tend to reach out more to my friends than vice versus too. And it certainly does get tiring feeling like you’re the one who always tries

View Quoted Comment I’m in the SAME boat right now. And I agree with this 100%. Literally everyone I have told my similar situation to said I would be a crappy friend. But I’m don’t want to drop bridesmaids because I don’t want a friendship anymore, the friends are great, I just decided I don’t want bridesmaids. Thank you for making me ALSO seem like I’m not crazy!

View Quoted Comment Oh no you are not crazy, if anything you are sane ! Haha
I’m actually thinking about not having any bridesmaids either / too much drama and a hassle to decide / I may just have my sister as maid of honor but picking and choosing and all that gets complicated .
Also, I already told my bridesmaids I am not having bridesmaids anymore and guess what?! They still talk to me and are my friends ! Granted wedding is 1 year from now Jeje