Bridesmaid Help

To be honest I would let her have it. I know you don’t even know that person but I think it sounds like she could use someone there with her given the break up.

I agree with PP, this isn't something I would concern myself with so close to my wedding, especially since you already budgeted and planned for her to have a date. If it's really that important to you, I would just tell her that unfortunately, you didn't give plus ones to single guests.

I think you should just be honest and say it's only extended to those in a relationship. The invitation was for her ex-SO, and that was the name that was on the guest list. I was in the same situation as your friend when my best friend got married. I was in her bridal party, and my boyfriend of 4 years and I broke up 3 weeks before the wedding. I was going to bring a random date, but my friend/the bride put her foot down and said no, which was totally fine with me (7 years later, I got engaged to the "random date" so it all worked out anyway LOL).

Agree with PP. We all know how bad break-ups can be...and a wedding is probably one of the hardest places to go during the midst of heartbreak (even if you're genuinely happy for the person). You were already counting on paying for her to have someone. I understand not wanting someone you don't know at the wedding...but, honestly, if it's a comfort for her, is it that big of a deal? I don't think she was trying to be rude...would you be upset if they'd broken up earlier and she brought another guy? Just putting it into perspective.

Also, coming from a person who has kinda "been there" as a bridesmaid, my friend straight up offered to allow my roommate (who she know) as a "plus one". It was of extreme comfort to me during a rough time even though I didn't ask for it.

I'd probably just let her have it and get over it. But if you really don't want to do that, I would just call her and nicely talk about it. Say you aren't included blank plus ones, just significant others, and you'd prefer not to have a random guest at your wedding that isn't anyone's SO especially since your BM will be busy basically the entire day.

I think it's kind of tacky of her to bring a random friend but I'd let it go. I don' think it's worth the argument when you already budgeted for an additional person anyway.

Thank everyone for your advice! She was only with this guy for 3 months and she instigated the break up. I understand that it can still be difficult though even under those circumstances. I will tell her that she doesn't have to feel pressured to bring someone since lots of people in the bridal party don't have a plus one and that I'd prefer not to have someone there that I don't know who isn't someone's SO, but I understand that she may need the support and comfort. However, she does also know a few of my guests coming, so it's not like she doesn't know anyone.

Your wedding, your choice. If you don't want her to bring that plus one don't. I think this is why I am being very specific and putting the name of the person who is invited with my guests. No one is being given a "plus one" option.

Since you're only 16 days out, I'm guessing she's already RSVP'd for two people? Maybe she's trying not to be rude to you with what she might consider a "no-show" guest you already paid for? I agree with others, if your numbers are in, I'd just leave it alone. When I got married (a million years ago), one of my BM brought her sister (who I only knew slightly) as her "plus one." They had a good time together and we had budgeted for all wedding party to have a date, so didn't matter to me who it was. For daughter's wedding, one of her friend's, who she'd given a plus one to, date cancelled on her at the last minute, so she brought her roommate because she thought that was better than being responsible for a no-show. At that point, it really didn't matter, we were paying for the meal regardless, and in the scheme of all the wonderful things going on for daughter and SIL that night, it had no impact whatsoever on anyone.

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I was specific too. The problem was is that she started dating this guy about 3 months before the wedding, so the guest list was finalized. I told her if I have room, I can extend you the plus one for Brad. So, his name would have been on the invitation if I was for sure he was going to be able to come but I wasn't for sure. When I found out I would be able to have him come, then I told her that Brad could come.

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She started dating this guy 3 months from the wedding and expected a plus one for him. I already had to guest list finalized and our venue is tight, so I told her if I have room then you can invite him. So just her name was on the invitation. I messaged her to let her know that he could come. It's not a super big deal, but I just feel like it's a little weird to have someone there who I don't know who isn't in a relationship with one of my guests.

Tell her exactly that, you didn't get a plus one, you significant other was invited. I'm sorry about the breakup, but the invite was for him not a plus one.

View Quoted Comment I absolutely agree with all of this. It’s more of a comfort to her during her breakup than an actual plus one for fun.

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Thank you!

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And I understand that, but she knows at least 4 other guests that are coming, so she won't be by herself.

View Quoted Comment I don’t think that’s the point. The other people are there for you. This person would be there for her.

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I already commented on this post, but I am reiterating to go with the unpopular opinion here and let her know that you are sorry, but the invite was for her +1 as a couple, and plus you don't know her friend. It is likely she will be more understanding about the situation than you think. I wish you luck.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! It seemed to work itself out anyway before I had to deal with it. Her friend isnt coming, and if she comes back and says she is I can say it's too late because I've gotten final numbers into vendors already

View Quoted Comment I completely agree with you. Who cares if you don't know the person. I was asked from a friend of my FH if their wife doesn't come to our destination the only stipulation is that the person has to be over the age of 18 since we are a kid free Wedding.

I don't see a problem with it and I'm sure you already paid for a plus one. I would let her bring the friend since she is dealing with a break up and a wedding is the hardest place to be during a break up. I don't think it matters if you don't know this person. But if you don't want her to have a friend there, then just tell her you already canceled everything for her plus one.