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Just Said Yes May 2020

Bridesmaid Help - Who to Ask?

Camille, on June 13, 2019 at 12:47 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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So I was planning on having six bridesmaids, but found out a while back that one friend won't be able to. I want to ask someone else, but I'm struggling with deciding who would be the best choice (if either, or both). One is my "big" from my sorority in college. We hung out a lot back then, but she moved away and we haven't talked much in the past few years. The only issue is she is a lot more wild and crazy than the rest of my friends, not in a bad way, but I'm worried she wouldn't fit in as well with the rest of the group. The other is a friend who came into our friend group through another friend, but she has hung out with us pretty regularly in the past few years. Everyone else in our usual group is going to be a bridesmaid, so she would definitely fit in well, but I'm worried it might be weird since she is more of a friend of a friend. Who do I ask? I would love to have either of them, but am more worried that they might not want to or think it was strange that I was asking them. Or should I just forget about wanting to have six and just ask the other five?

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Danielle, on June 13, 2019 at 11:24 AM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on June 13, 2019 at 1:31 AM
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I would ask the other five if I were you. Because having a sixth feels like they're just filling in for someone who couldn't make it and at that point it sounds like they're unnecessary
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VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on June 13, 2019 at 7:00 AM
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I personally think having another person to fulfill a number requirement is odd. However, I get that symmetry is important to some. I wouldn't ask your big. She moved away and you guys didn't keep in close contact. Do you think she would want to travel back multiple times to participate as a bridesmaid? The other girl is a toss up. However, if you consider her a friend of a friend and not your friend, I think you shouldn't ask her either. Ultimately, do what makes you happy!
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on June 13, 2019 at 7:46 AM
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I would just have five. If neither of them were your first pick, you shouldn't make them part of your bridal party just to meet a random number that you're set on.
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Master October 2019
Meghan · on June 13, 2019 at 7:51 AM
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I would have 5. It seems like having 6 is a forced decision. And picking tour bridesmaids shouldn’t be hard. But if you decide to go with 6, I’d pick the girl you currently have a closer relationship with.
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Super October 2019
Sara · on June 13, 2019 at 8:33 AM
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This. I was in a kind of similar situation - no one couldn't make it for me, but at one point we were considering parties of 6 or 7 on each side, and I was trying to find one more person to make our numbers match. It came down to someone from home who I was really close with and now only talk to occasionally, or one of two people who are in my friend group, but who I don't really ever hang out with one-on-one. Ultimately, we decided to both trim numbers and only choose people we currently consider good and close friends. I'd consider what you'd think if you were or weren't asked to be a bridesmaid for the two girls you're considering, but wouldn't be worried about adding the extra person just for symmetry.
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Master June 2019
Danielle · on June 13, 2019 at 11:24 AM
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I agree with this. If you are struggling that much with deciding, then I don't think either should be asked. Trust me! From someone that has bridesmaid regret, you don't want anyone other than YOUR nearest and dearest up there with you.
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