Bridesmaid Due 2 Months Before Wedding - Help/advice

Definitely give her a kind out. She may not feel up for attending depending on her state of recovery.


Even if the baby does attend, the baby's schedule is not your problem or responsibility. Don't overthink it. Nursing infants are generally considered an exception to the no kids rule. But you don't need to modify anything about your wedding for them.

I agree with the the PP. give her an out if she needs it but I wouldn’t make her feel that because she’s pregnant you don’t want her in your wedding now. My daughter has 2 girls in her wedding that will have new infants (one only 3 weeks old) and both girls are super excited about the wedding and didn’t want to drop out. They have attended every event and plan to have someone watch the baby at the venue for them. Even though you don’t want kids, which I totally understand, a new infant is usually and exception and if she stills want to be in your wedding I would think about a solution for that now.

While I don't agree with asking her to step down (She is one of your best friends), because that pretty much means you are kicking her out because she decided to have a child, ask her what she wants to do. If she can't bring her infant (The baby's schedule is not your responsibility, the bridesmaid would need to figure that out), she more than likely won't even attend at all.

Can the boyfriend/husband/grandmother be on site with the baby so she can come and go as she needs so they are not there for the ceremony and then the baby can be in attendance at the reception? I feel like if I asked someone to be in my bridal party, I would try and do what I could to make sure they are there standing with me.

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I agree with the others that you can give her a kind out. You never know, she may feel the same way you do, but doesn't want to talk to you about it yet. I wouldn't say she has to step down, but just let her know that if she thinks it will be too much, that you understand and still care for her as a friend. Nursing babies are usually the exception, and there's usually other people that could watch the baby during the ceremony if she decides to stay in the wedding and wants to bring her baby.

NO do not "give her an out" she knows that she can say no if she can't attend things. I currently am the bridesmaid in your situation (due soon with #2, wedding in september). The wedding is no kids, i totally understand that I can't bring my kid. I also won't be able to attend the shower or bachelorette weekend....that doesn't make me any less of a bridesmaid. My friend has been lovely and understanding because she is aware that I have a life outside of her wedding and can still be over the moon happy for her life events too.

If your BM needs accommodations she will make them - this isn't something you need to "deal with" in any way. She knows when and where she's supposed to be on your wedding day and presumably will be there - nothing else is your concern. If she cannot be at all the events or whatever, she will let you know and the correct response is "of course, whatever you need to do - we will miss you!"

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Yes, to ALL of this (except I'm not pregnant ). Trust your friend, be a friend first and bride second, and all will be well.

I agree to give her an out, sometimes people just need to hear it. and it doesn't mean shell take it.

and I also want to say that I too am the last of my friends to get married and have happily and excitedly attended all their life events. Planning a wedding during covid has been tough because I feel like I didn't get to experience all those things. I am not big on being the center of attention but I also totally feel your pain in wanting to (finally) have your moment. you're not alone there at all!

Two of my bridesmaids were in the same boat, one having a baby a month before the wedding and the other having a baby two months before the wedding. It was also a Covid wedding (November), so that also factored in! My sister-in-law wasn’t comfortable attending the shower or bachelorette party. My friend attended both, actually volunteering to be the DD! The day of the wedding, my friend actually got ready with us, and her husband and in-laws watched the baby during the day. Her husband then came to the wedding. They considered it their first night out post-baby, and left part way through the reception. My sister-in-law and niece (flower girl) got ready at their house and met us at the venue. Their infant was at home with her parents while she, my brother, and niece attended the wedding. They also left mid-reception. I think the biggest thing is to be supportive as your friend enters motherhood and be flexible in your expectations, allowing her to figure out what arrangements will work best for her and her family.

Thanks all for your thoughts and experiences! Sharing what I did end up doing and the outcome in case it helps anyone in the future (I read many of these posts before posting my own):


I did end up talking with my friend to ask her if she had thought about what would work for her day of the wedding with an infant, and that ultimately I wanted to be as supportive as I could be while also ensuring my fiancé and I had the day we have been dreaming of. Her first response was she did want to continue being in the wedding, and that while she is excited about the baby she is also excited and eager to celebrate me. She recognized I’ve been waiting for this day for a long time, and that really made me feel like I was important to her as her friend.
She actually gave me a safe out, asking me if I would be okay with the baby being around while we got ready. I told her I was torn, because I didn’t want to create a situation where she couldn’t be there, but honestly I didn’t want to tiptoe around an infant on the morning of my wedding. She was super supportive, and we ultimately landed on she will definitely be there for pictures, and will try to be there for getting ready but may need to come and go a little bit. I told her that was totally fine, and that it could result in her not being in a few photos but I would make sure she did get to be in at least part of the bridal party photos and we would definitely get our pictures together.
We also recognized all of this plan could change depending on the babies’ needs, personality, and the mood he/she is in that day. But ultimately I feel like she wants to be a part of my day, that she recognizes the importance of it for me, and I think she felt like I wanted her to be part of it and wanted to be flexible to make that happen.
She also thanked me for bringing it up to her instead of hiding it and being secretly stressed which made me feel relieved.

Hooray!!! Thank you for sharing. You can have your cake and eat it, too!