Bridesmaid dropping out

I'd make sure she understands that she doesn't need to do anything for the wedding other than be there, she may just be feeling overwhelmed by the invitations and the thought of spending so much time with people she doesn't know. If its financial stress that's concerning her (I wasn't clear with the finding a house thing if the issue was time or money) could you offer to pay for the dress?

Other than that, there's not much you can do. Unfortunately people's circumstances change sometimes and they don't realise right away that they can't make it work. It's okay to be upset in private but tell her you understand and that you look forward to seeing her at the wedding anyway. It's not worth damaging your relationship over this

You tell her you'll miss her standing up with you and then you get over it. You can't force someone to be a part of the bridal party.

Its frustrating but honestly don't take it to heart. I had two of my bridesmaids drop out and I was frustrated at first but honestly if they are doing so much to dodge being out of the wedding, I'm not really sure I want them to be there in the first place. I don't want someone to be there if they feel forced to be there, you know? Just let it go and work around it.

It frustrates me cause now the groomsmen to bridesmaid ratio is off and I don’t have many friends where I am living with my fiancé since moving across the country.

View Quoted Comment Lots people have uneven sides, I did, many on WW did. Dont try to replace them. I'm sure was hard for each of them to drop out as well.

Uneven sides are perfectly fine. As for your FH's sister, she didn't say she wasn't coming to the wedding. That would be hurtful. Dropping out as a BM isn't a big deal. Maybe she can't afford the dress and chipping in on the parties, if that is expected. Maybe she's just not into weddings. No one should be guilted into participating in something they won't enjoy.

We are going to have uneven sides bc a groomsmen dropped out bc his wife refuses to let him come to the wedding for some incredibly unknown weird reason, which we can only work out to be that she likes to make him miserable and dictate what he can do and kind of is a bit unstable. FH mentioned maybe having my cousin take his place and as much as I love my cousin, I dont think you should choose people on the basis of space and making things even, it's about who you want to stand with you.

Unfortunately there's not much you can do. You can't make an adult do something they don't want to do. Just say you'll be glad that she's spending the special day with you two.

When you're walking down the aisle, and your FH and the bridal party are standing up there waiting for you, no one is going to care about how the sides are uneven. Please don't let it ruin your day. In the end it's all about having fun and marrying your best friend.

Like many others have said, I'm pretty sure when she first said yes she realized how much time and money it takes to be a bridesmaid. Not sure how your bridal party is like, but it also seems like she's uncomfortable not knowing anyone in the bridal party. She knew backing out would come with consequences, but she made that decision nevertheless. I am concerned on how she's doing though. Yes, she "caused" the problems between your fiance and her family but I wonder if she's getting any support from anyone. If you still want to include her, would you be open to inviting her to any bridesmaid events, even though she'll probably not attend?

Uneven wedding parties are not a big deal. In a way, I low-key prefer them because I can tell that these people were chosen because they were special to the bride/groom, not to be a space filler. Not saying that wedding parties with equal pairs aren't special; it's just more obvious with uneven parties.

One reason I don't like the trend toward choosing bridesmaids earlier and earlier as in recent years And worse, abandoning the long practice of brides meeting with each person privately, no gifts or special dinner, no surprise "proposal" stuff, and discussing bride's expectations, realistic costs, and seeing if the prospective BM can look at those things before saying yes or no. The proposal and gifts stuff puts the person on the spot, how can you say no yo someone who has a pile if gifts there, and is making an emotional plea? So BM say yes, and shortly thereafter reality sets in. The costs, and time commitments, and need to free up their schedules for any things they want to participate in, just make it unrealistic to participate. Then comes weeks of being unhappy, before telling bride. No BM needs to do anything BM related before 9 months before the wedding. A bride who shops earlier for her own gown and wants company, can ask any good friend, including someone she would like as BM, without forming a WP and asking BM until later. Most. Except for high priced designers in the $1000 per dress category, no bridesmaid dress takes more than 1-4 months to come in, plus minor alterations, mean never need to be ordered before 5 months out. Showers are not held until 2-4, maybe 5 months out, bachelorettes less. No need whatsoever for a bridal party before 9 months. By then, BM candidates know what is coming up in their own lives, time and money constraints. And a bride who does the courtesy of meeting privately, no pressure of gifts or other people, and talks about her expectations, and any costs, will get a well thought out commitment to BM, or be told, what you are asking just is not something I can do, much as I would like to. For me, planning a grad degee, ir to buy a house, did not mean I would never have $200 in my pocket to buy a dress and shoes, undergarments and accessories. It meant deciding to work an average of 20 to 60 hours a month more at my regular job where overtime possible, to 80 hours a month in a second evenings and weekends job. How do you tell a bride, sure I will be a Bridesmaid, but you have to set a wedding date not in the 70 hour a week work schedule for each job plus commuting time, because I have little seniority, no vacation or holiday time. And forget seeing you socially more than once every 3 months. No help planning a shower, cannot even go if Thurs- Sunday. Same with bachelorette, or a bridal yea, and the rehearsal dinner. Oh, and if these things are okay with you, the dress price needs to be under $35 and all travel costs, meals, little gifts like if I can make it to your shower, the shower and wedding gift, all have to be no more than $160, Because $200 is it for the year... Once your BM got through the proposal gift surprise, accepting more than a year before the wedding, she may have realized the cost of saving for a house in working extra hours, cutting own entertainment costs by z90%, buying no new clothes. And no $50 or $100 gifts, no chipping in $100 for a shower, nothing. IR else, do the right thing, and give you plenty if time to ask someone else at the more usual time closer to the wedding. I understand you being sad, but you pretty much set this up asking so early and starting with a presents and proposal. So be gracious. Truly understanding, no grudge. Buy an old fashioned everyday etiquette book with a section on weddings not all wedding. You will get some background on why, before tv reality shows and internet websites funded by the wedding industry got involved, there were conventions, nit rules, but guidelines for doing things at certain times. The point, to avoid the super highs followed by disappointments that often come with starting to early ir late, not knowing all projected costs before asking anyone to do things. And ways to present or say things tactfully, so people see them as requests, not demands or expectations. Something an good etiquettebook will say, no matter what social situation : If you give gifts ip front, it is like buying friends with gifts, or making people feel indebted to you. And anything you do that way rather than mural decision making, is likely to backfire. Not just for weddings. I hope you keep your friendship.