Bridesmaid dropped out

It honestly sounds like she got caught up in the excitement of being asked, but after further thought realized it wasn't a good idea. Personally, I think it is better that she was honest with you rather than her trying to commit to be your bridesmaid only to realize later on she can't fully commit to the role after all.

View Quoted Comment I agree. It sounds like she was excited but realized after speaking to her husband and taking some time to think that being in the wedding isn’t something she can commit to right now. If you’d stop being friends with her over that, that’s your choice but yes I think that’s selfish.

View Quoted Comment Yes I love her honesty! That meant alot. Better now than later

That sounds like a really selfish reason to lose a friend.

It’s better for her to let you know now instead of later. I and another 👰 did the same. She got married 2 weeks before me. I told her that I couldn’t be a part of both, but I would provide whatever support that I could. She then told me the next week that she couldn’t do both either. We did attend each other’s Weddings (which were lovely if I do say so myself). I couldn’t imagine a better outcome.

I would say it’s good that she was honest with you now. She likely was so excited you asked and she really wanted to do it that she said yes. After thinking about it more she clearly thought about the commitment it would take and was honest with herself and you. That’s a good thing. Personally I would not fit her out of your life.

You're hurt right now and I understand you were excited for her to be a part of your party but it isn't really something to lose a friendship over considering she sounds very valid.

I agree with pp, she may have just gotten caught up in the excitement and later realized she may not be able to be there for you the way you need her to be. I wouldn’t stop being friends with her.

As a mom myself, I could see myself getting caught up in the excitement of being part of your day and then realizing all of the complications later. I'm sure her intent wasnt to hurt your feelings. I think you should take this as a good thing... she knew she couldnt prioritize you and bowed out gracefully and tactfully. If you honestly love her, and want her to be a part of your life... just let it go. We all make mistakes, and at least she tried to rectifiy it quickly so you could prepare. Best wishes in all your planning.

I agree with all of the previous posters..including caytlyn who you asked to leave because she said it sounds like a selfish reason to lose a friend. You said you didn't know if it sounded selfish or not and she gave you her opinion; which is one that I share. If you're going to ask an entire forum of people for their opinions; take all of them into consideration and accept the advice gracefully..whether it is something you wanted to hear or not.

A new marriage, a new baby and a full time job is a lot to have on her plate. From the sounds of the posts in here, being a bridesmaid for some people has a lot of responsibility attached to it..and there is no way I would want to be tied into that with a newborn while working full time. Heck, I probably wouldn't want to if I was a stay at home mom. It's like agreeing to go out at night only to come home and remember that there's laundry and dishes to do, you have stuff due at work..etc. The responsibility hits hard once you're away from friends and back home.

It seems like she wants to but she realizes she can't commit to it the way you deserve. I think its nice of her to be so honest especially since shes backing out.

One of my bridesmaids has been my friend for 20 years and has two children. My expectations of her are much less than my MOH and my other bridesmaid but it wouldn't feel right without her in my bridal party. I'm paying for her dress and I'm not requiring her to attend extra events if she just can't. I also realize her kids come first.

Its up to you but if just having her stand up with you is enough and if you can cover some of her expenses that may sway her decision. But if you need her unwaivered support and can't pay her way you may need to accept finding someone else.

View Quoted Comment I like your suggestion, but she feels as though if she cant commit herself fully then she rather not be in it

Hi Jaimie first off congrats on your engagement
it is great that she got back the next day and not a month later.A lot goes on in people life and they don’t want to share half of it we never know the whole story please don’t uninvite her ,,,invite her to everything show her what she is missing go with plan two but at some point let plan 2 know that she is plan 2 so no one else will be able to and Jaimie it’s all about you!!!!

I wouldn’t cut off the friendship over this. It sounds like she was trying to do the right thing. She didn’t ghost you, she didn’t say mean things about your or your fiancé, and she didn’t make things difficult for the rest of your bridal party. Maybe if you still want her as a bridesmaid, ask her to reconsider with her only requirement to show up in a dress. Let her know you understand she’s got a lot going on and you will be ok if she can’t plan a shower or anything else. Unfortunately life happens that sometimes doesn’t coincide well with our wedding. You have plenty of time to fill the bridesmaid spot if you choose, or time to plan your wedding with one less bridesmaid. I’m sorry you had this happen, but I don’t think it’s worth losing a friend over.