Bridesmaid Dropped Out and Wants Money

I can honestly see both sides of the argument. She was asked to step down after paying for the ticket. But she was asked to step down for a reason. Since the bride ask her to step down, I would honestly let the bride handle it, especially since the bride is out $400.

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The problem is though that she was asked multiple times if she wanted to be a part of the bridal party ( a few months after she agreed already and went to pick out everything with us) and never responded directly and only gave vague answers, so after a certain point we saw it fit to just ask her to leave since we had been trying to work with her for months. She has left us all to cover her fees because she chose to leave. So she was really both kicked out and her choice to leave. We still offered her the chance to come on the trip if she would like and she chose not to answer us, so we have to plan accordingly since it's so close. And we do not want the bride to have to pay so much money for someone who has been so rude to her during this time (ignoring her and not paying anything). The hardest part too is that this ex-bridesmaid is the brides cousin-in-law!

Can someone else buy her ticket? Or can she sell it on a third party site?

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It is a group package, the plane ticket is non-refundable, and both show tickets are set to where we go as a group, so she cannot sell it separately anywhere. She agreed to go and pay for it all, but then last minute decided she did not want to be a part of anything, leaving us struggling 2 months before.

Yikes. I'm sorry you guys are dealing with this. It sounds like a mess. I have no idea what I would do in this situation. Is there anyone else who may be interested in going to the show that could use the vacant ticket? That way the ex-BM could have a refund but you guys wouldn't be out that additional money?

Any other friends that would want to go on the bachelorette in her place? That way everything would be paid back to both the bride and the ex-bridesmaid. There was no free cancellation option for either the flight or hotel? Usually hotels would be more lenient with that.

I personally think she isn't owed or entitled to anything since she chose to ignore everyone else and kicked herself out of the party without any explanation. Honestly, and this is just me, I would try to handle this if I were the bride. Especially if it's a relative. I'd ask HER for the difference from the $400 and the $85 she paid, and if she refused, then it's non-refundable, and that's that. She agreed to be part of this at one point, the money was paid, and then she bailed after. Not your problem and not the bride's problem that SHE is out $85. That was her choice. Not to be harsh, but that's kind of messed up for her to do.

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Wouldn't let me respond on my other account, but the tickets for both shows are bought in a group package, so she cannot sell them on another website. We are trying to find someone to take her place, but no one can go.

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Wouldn't let me respond on my other account, but we are trying to find someone to take her place so she can have her money back, but so far no one can go because it is so close to the trip and we have had this planned for months.

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The flights are non-refundable, and the hotel is not the issue, the thing is now we all have to pay more to cover her costs of the room that she agreed to months ago and promised to pay. We have had this booked for months so the cancellation option is no longer valid.

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Oh, that makes sense. Well I'd ignore it for now, and maybe let the bride know what is going on. She didn't even have the decency to text or call so I'd just not give it another thought.

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I agree, the bride and I both feel that she shouldn't get any money back and should have to pay the difference since she agreed to everything and promised to pay it all. The plane tickets cannot be refunded and cannot be transferred, so they are going completely to waste and the bride has to pay for it. The bride is having a hard time figuring it out on her own though because the ex-BM will not speak to her nor her family. She did say yes to being a bridesmaid and said yes to everything we booked when we did, and then 2 months before she decides to ignore everyone and not go.

View Quoted Comment Exactly. So in my opinion, she either fronts the money she said she would pay to the bride, or she gets nothing. Then any further thought from her gets ignored like she did to everyone else. If she's not going to take any responsibility, she doesn't deserve any better treatment than what she gave to you all.

Honestly, I'd just give her the money to make it go away. Seems like an unfortunate situation all around.

If anyone should be getting money back, it should be the bride. Ex bridesmaid needs to suck it up because she is an adult and made choices to ignore all contact attempts. No money back to her.

This blows, but I would just give her her money back and try and see if you can replace her on the trip, if not it's a lesson learned.

This may sound harsh... but she ignored all you guys. I would ignore her plea for the money back.

Ouch, f that. Sell her ticket on a 3rd party site to get money back & pay the bride back instead of her. That's ridiculous. And on top of it she can't even nicely ask to get her ticket money back- she has to be passive aggressive and request it back in an app? I would ignore it and if she asks say you "didn't know she needed the money back since she never asked & you don't have the app notifications on" And I would just be straight up and tell her she agreed to the costs when she said yes to be in the wedding party and the bride has footed x amount of dollars for her so far.

I understand not being able to afford it but be up-front about that, & if the bride wants her there they could've worked a payment plan or something out. This seems like its not a money issue though and this bridesmaid has another issue and instead of working it out and expressing her distress is doing some serious attention seeking and drama causing tactics. Good riddance tbh! No one deserves to deal with that.

I think this is an unfortunate lesson on both ends. On the one hand she should pay for the flight/hotel because she did the slow fade, but on the other hand the bride did ask her to step down so I can understand not wanting to pay for an event I was no longer welcome at. I think this post is a good cautionary tale for other brides/people planning bachelorettes to not front the cost of tickets for anything and to always wait to order until you have all the money. It's also a good idea to try to stay away from tickets that are non refundable/group tickets in general. What if there was an emergency where a bridesmaid legitimately couldn't attend? It would suck for them to be out a ton of money because you can't resell/cancel/transfer tickets.

Honestly no. I know when my bridal party was paying for my bach party and other ppl wanted to attend my MOH made it clear that the money was no refundable BC once everyone paid their half it was being spent on things that was needed for the trip like the airbnb, my flight ticket, food, and ubers.