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Merline
Super February 2020

Bridesmaid dresses

Merline, on January 25, 2020 at 8:45 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 10
We are about a month out! So in the beginning when I picked my bridesmaids, I gave them a swatch and told them to please just make sure it matches the color and that the dress is floor length. After that no ones scheduled really matched up, so all the girls went and got their own dresses. Then a few months later everyone was able to come together with their dresses, and none of the bridesmaids liked how it came together. So we all went to David's Bridal one afternoon and they all chose one dress that they all liked and exchanged their old dresses. I was fine with this, as long as they all were comfortable and happy. So fast forward to two weeks ago, I reminded them that they should start alterations soon. Come to find out one of my bridesmaids never exchanged her dress because she feels more comfortable in her original dress and she didnt think it was fair (I have 6 maids total including her, so it was 5 votes against hers, but she never said anything and went along with the groups decision). Now that everyone has the same dress and hers is different, it will appear as if she is my MOH. The dress ships ever quickly (within a week). I asked her what she planned on doing and she said I guess I'll have to exchange my dress but if the new one doesn't come in time, I will use my original dress. I offered to cover the cost of the new dress until her refund was processed then she could pay me back and she said not to worry about it and she would get it done and didnt need my help financially. This morning, I woke up to a text saying how unfair the group is and she will not have time to go to the store to exchange her dress any time soon. I haven't responded yet because I dont want to come off wrong or hurtful. I checked DB website and the shipping is still about a week, so her dress will come in time. Should I just cut her out (this is what my sister thinks I should do) or should I offer to cover the cost again? Help 😩!

10 Comments

Latest activity by Merline, on January 25, 2020 at 5:41 PM
  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    Well I would say it is clear that she does not feel comfortable in the dress the other 5 girls picked out & she obviously does not want to wear it. It sounds like she is going to drag her feet & make excuses until time runs out to be able to get the dress in time. My best advice would be to really think about what you want here. How important is this person to you? If she’s important & you couldn’t imagine not having her stand with you, then you basically have 2 options: 1) Order the dress yourself immediately so you know it arrives on time or 2) just let her wear the dress she prefers.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I wouldn’t do either. She either has the dress the day of the wedding and stands with you as a bridesmaid or she doesn’t and she sits as a guest. She has the dress details and there’s nothing else you can do.
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  • Merline
    Super February 2020
    Merline ·
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    She's plus sized, so I dont want to order the wrong size, so I would need to know her size. I wouldn't mind her wearing her original dress, but that would have her stand out and she is not my MOH. I literally have always gone above and beyond when doing things for her and this is the first thing I've ever ask her to do. Idk what I want to do yet.
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  • Merline
    Super February 2020
    Merline ·
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    Thank you. This is what I plan to do. The dress is even on sale now, so she will be getting more money back then she originally paid. I do not plan on saying anything else to her. I texted her "you have all the details the decision is ours". I do not plan on saying anything else to her until we get closer to rehearsal.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    I would tell her, in the nicest way possible, that the majority chose the new dress and she needs to go ahead and order it. If she does not have it on the day of the wedding, then she can attend as a guest instead of as a BM.

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  • Fleur
    October 2020
    Fleur ·
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    Ooh Merline, what a pain to deal with!! I like what you texted. In this case I would handle with tons of love, but not budge. “I love you and value our friendship dearly, but this is my big day and I want all my bridesmaids in this dress. If you don’t want to wear it it’s super fine for you to attend as a guest. I want you to be comfortable and happy, just as I’m sure you want this for me on my wedding day!” Good luck and keep us posted!!
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  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
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    So i see there's alot.going on. Its your wedding and to me it seems as if shes making excuses on not to be in the wedding so if she cant change her dress herself (since she didnt take the options of you buying it and she replaces the cash back) she needs to hurry and buy the dress or me personal ill have to kick her out my wedding im sorry. Weddings arent not anything to play with and its your day and...i feel you were fair enough to allow each bridemaid to pick what made them comfortable not alot of brides would had cared....
    They would had picked out style dress ,color and said this is what yall wearing and oh well if you dont like it. You cant be too flexible with this matter bc she is not your MOH so she got to change her dress period. My question for u is if you did kicked her out your wedding party it will now shorten the Weddingparty with the groom men is this correct?
    good luck!!!
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  • Merline
    Super February 2020
    Merline ·
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    It would actually make it even as FH has 5 guys on his side!
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  • Merline
    Super February 2020
    Merline ·
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    Yes looks like this may be the result. I texted her back and no response. I hate that I can see that she read my message.
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  • Merline
    Super February 2020
    Merline ·
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    Yeah she read my text but hasn't replied. She also hasn't RSVP'd so I can get her plus one name and the deadline is today. I'm fine if she wants to back out and this is her way of doing it. I just need to know.
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