Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Dedicated August 2021

Bridesmaid Dress Drama

Kelly, on August 29, 2020 at 8:03 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 13

Saved

Flag
Hide content

So, I'm not picky about much. I haven't asked my bridesmaids for anything really, except to stand with me, and I did explain, it is a destination wedding, it will be expensive, please don't feel pressured to say yes. I understand. Take some time to think about it. They all did, they all said yes.

Fast forward, I start talking about dresses and whatnot. I've already said, get your hair done or not, get makeup and nails done or not, wear shoes or not (it's a beach wedding). I'm not going to tell a grown woman what to how to look or how to do her hair. It's just not in me.
But I do like short bridesmaid dresses. And it will be August. Outside. So I thought this was a nice ask of me. It's quite honestly my only sticking point in this whole shabang.
And 3 of 4 said awesome. Let me start looking online. We are going to ::fingers crossed:: go to the store in February. One is convinced that a short dress will blow up in an ocean breeze and doesn't want to wear it.
I'm not a bridezilla by any means, but this has me banging my head against my desk when I get this email.
Any advice? A long dress can blow up too. Or get sand in it. Nature of the ceremony.
Or am I being the crazy one.

Flag
Hide content

13 Comments

Latest activity by Hermione, on August 31, 2020 at 1:29 AM

Expert September 2020
Emily · on August 29, 2020 at 8:11 AM
Flag

Hide content
Well you at least sound like the type of bride that I'd want to be a BM for, I see some crazy things out here.
You'd know your friend better than I would - I'm wondering if they are the "always in pants" type? I cover my legs alot so I wondered that. If it's really just about it blowing up, it's smart to recommend ppl wear Spanx or like those shorts underneath. Helps with panty lines and makes you feel better if you dress gets blown up too high you won't moon the guests.
- Reply
Legend July 2022
Lisa · on August 29, 2020 at 8:13 AM
Flag

Hide content
When someone agrees to be a bridesmaid, they are agreeing to show up on the wedding day, wearing the specified attire, and stand by your side during the ceremony. I think you did nothing wrong by stating you prefer short bridesmaid dresses as the specified attire. Maybe ask her try on a few dresses first and she may change her mind?
- Reply
Super September 2020
Leanne · on August 29, 2020 at 8:14 AM
Flag

Hide content
Have they purchased dresses yet, the other three? Maybe have them all order the same color and material from David’s Bridal/Azazie....but let them choose different necklines and length? Overall it’ll still go together. (But I agree that’s super frustrating especially with how chill you’ve been about everything else.)
- Reply
Master September 2020
Jessica · on August 29, 2020 at 9:16 AM
Flag

Hide content
I had a similar approach, trying to make it as easy as possible on them to find dresses. I gave my MOHs two colors that would work, told them I wanted long dresses, and pretty much let them go from there. They both waited until literally the last possible second to pick dresses and stressed me out so bad at times I thought about just telling them not to bother they could just be guests. Looking back, I would have picked a few dresses from one company for them to choose from and given them the deadline to order by to make sure they were here in time to get any needed alterations. One MOH received her dress last week, not sure about the other 🤷‍♀️. We get married two weeks from today!
As far as a short dress blowing up on the beach, they make weights you can attach to the bottom of the dress (like you do with a veil) to help prevent that. Ultimately, if you told your BP to order a specific dress in the color you choose, that’s what they agreed to when they agreed to be a BM. I think you’re being reasonable, and from my own personal experience I hope things work out better for you!
- Reply
Expert May 2021
Michelle · on August 29, 2020 at 9:44 AM
Flag

Hide content
You are not the crazy one. I can understand not wanting to give everyone a show with dresses blowing up lol. Have you limited the style too? Or just length. She could get a stiffer or snugger fabric/dress. When we say yes to being a bridesmaid, that includes the attire the bride and groom want. I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask for the length of dress you want (with the exception of being inappropriately short lol)
- Reply
Master November 2022
Chrysta · on August 29, 2020 at 10:59 AM
Flag

Hide content
It sounds like everybody’s reactions to the situation were a bit overdramatic. I have to say, until I started planning my own wedding, I did not realize how much effort, money, and stress went into it. Add a pandemic and tons of uncertainty and last minute changes, and I am sure the bride and her mother are at their wits end. I am sure it is tons of stress that caused them to react the way they did. That being said, up until she uninvited your husband, the two of you were planning on traveling & attending the wedding together. Could you still do that? The two of you could drive there together and he could find something else to do during those few hours of the wedding (Eat at a restaurant that looks good to him? Go to a sports bar? See a movie? Heck, even just staying in a hotel watching TV and eating room service sounds like a fabulous evening to me! LOL) Then you could still attend the wedding, feel comfortable traveling & staying in the hotel, and mend the rift with everyone.
- Reply
Master August 2021
Jasmine · on August 29, 2020 at 12:03 PM
Flag

Hide content
I think its a pretty fair ask. I mean she said yea anyway. Saying yes basically puts you under a contract so to speak to follow whatever rules or guidelines the bride has. Have her try on a few and see if she changes her mind.

If not and this is all you really want, no exceptions, I'd look for a replacement that wouldn't give trouble to wear a short dress. That's just me though. Good luck.
- Reply
January 2019
MOB So Cal · on August 29, 2020 at 12:13 PM
Flag

Hide content
I agree with pps that it's certainly your choice, but I can also imagine scenarios where a BM might be concerned about a short skirt and potential beach winds. My daughter is nearly 6' tall and was a BM in a wedding where the B chose a short dress from David's, with all the BMs wearing the same dress. The other BMs were all barely 5' tall, so a "short" dress on them hit just above their knees (and I think they might have had them hemmed get them that short). That same dress on my daughter was almost indecently short.... It was an outdoor wedding in So Cal, not on a beach, but even a gentle breeze was a distinct possibility. Daughter bought flesh colored underwear that were basically bike shorts and did her very best to NOT have to bend over all day.... As far as I know there weren't any significant wardrobe malfunctions, but she was definitely concerned about flashing people in the middle of the ceremony. It sounds like you're letting them choose whatever short dress they want? If that's the case, perhaps the concerned BM can choose one with a more narrow/straight/slightly longer skirt that is less likely to blow than a full skirt and, as a pp mentioned, she could buy weights (or perhaps you could buy them for all the BMs). Especially on a hot beach, I agree short dresses are potentially more appropriate, but so are concerns about a blowing skirt. Good luck figuring out something that works for everyone!
- Reply
Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 29, 2020 at 1:35 PM
Flag

Hide content
Midi length is short but not Long either.
- Reply
VIP February 2020
Julie · on August 29, 2020 at 5:52 PM
Flag

Hide content
I HAVE A SOLUTION THAT I THINK WILL SOLVE EVERYTHING. Legit, you can sew little weights into the bottom hem of the skirt. This is an actual thing the royal family does so that their skirts don't blow up in public. Look it up!
- Reply
Expert February 2020
Hermione · on August 31, 2020 at 12:23 AM
Flag

Hide content
It depends on the cut and material of the dress.

A solution for the dress flying up problem is dress weights. They are little decorative magnets that goes along the hem of the dress. The british royals use them all the time.
I had to tell my bridesmaids to consider them if they had a flowy dress because we had a windy spot. I said f it to the matchy and we went nice little black dress of their choice. It worked because we had pink shawls and a bb bouquet. Hair /make up / nails was diy and optional and I trust them as functional adults. They were functional adults and they did a great job. We didn't need them because they chose a cut of dress that was more weighted pencil and not airy marilyn a line
I had to use veil weights for my veil not to fly around everywhere. Veil weights and dress weights are strongly advised if you decided to go with a veil that isn't a bird cage or an a line airy chiffon dress. Especially for a beach wedding / non AC wedding.
- Reply
VIP February 2020
Julie · on August 31, 2020 at 1:17 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Lol glad I wasn't the only one to say that. It sounds strange if you don't know about it 😂
- Reply

Expert February 2020
Hermione · on August 31, 2020 at 1:29 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Yea, I had a windy wedding. We had to consider the marilyn monroe problems. If the fabric / cut is right, it doesn't exist.

My bm were in their late 20s-30s so we had adulting down. They knew how to dress themselves. They were 2 different body types / skin tones. So the same dress wasn't going to work and we were on a budget. So, we went closet shopping. The closet had the best deal in town of free and they would wear it again.
- Reply