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Just Said Yes May 2021

Bridesmaid Drama

Abbey, on September 8, 2020 at 1:08 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 4

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Hey y’all, so I need some help!! I have 2 girls I asked to be my bridesmaids and tbh they kinda suck. They always blow me off when we plan to hang out or they just ignore me. We were supposed to go dress shopping last month and made plans and then the day before, they wouldn’t answer my texts or confirm they were gonna come (and then didn’t.) I was hesitant to ask them to be bridesmaids in the first place because they’re not reliable. But because we were best friends in high school and always talked about being in each other’s weddings, I felt compelled to. However, now I’m really regretting it. I have 2 other friends I wanted to ask instead because they’ve been really great to me but is there a good way to kick the other girls out? Any ideas what I should say? Thanks!

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Veronica, on September 8, 2020 at 6:37 PM

Expert March 2021
Marcia · on September 8, 2020 at 1:17 PM
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Oh boy. This is why people recommend never choosing bridesmaids out of obligation.
You have a right to be upset with your bridesmaids for not communicating with you about dress shopping because that's one of the only things that a bridesmaid is *required* to do (get the dress). Have you tried talking to the two girls about this yet? Maybe asking them about their plans to get the dress and sharing that you wish they could have been at the fitting day?
You should know that if you kick these girls out of your bridal party, it will likely end the friendship. Are you prepared for that?
You should also consider that the two girls you ask now may feel like they were back-ups or second choices.
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Just Said Yes May 2021
Abbey · on September 8, 2020 at 1:28 PM
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Those are really good points. Thank you! I am prepared for the friendship to end and I don’t think I’ll feel a huge loss. My biggest frustrations with the dress fitting are
Thank you for your advice!
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Beginner December 2021
Jacqueline · on September 8, 2020 at 3:04 PM
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I would have a face to face chat if possible with them each individually. Be straight up about how you felt when they didn't show. And why you are not having them as bridesmaids anymore. Be prepared for your words to be twisted and make sure you prepare exactly word for word what your going to say. J wodnt talk to any of the new or old bridal party about it after you meet with those two.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on September 8, 2020 at 6:37 PM
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I definitely understand your frustration. One of my friends of high school did something similar with dress shopping. She was the only one that worked weekends so I planned dress shopping around her schedule. The day before I texted her and she asked me what I was talking about. She apparently completely forgot and never asked off even though it was planned two months in advance. She had a bunch of excuses. Then it was that she didn't even know if she could afford the dress or to attend the wedding which was only thirty minutes from where she lived. She had also moved and kept blowing me off about providing her new address for the save the dates. I finally had enough and basically told her that I think it would be better if she just attended as a guest. We haven't really spoken since which I was honestly fine with because I basically picked her because I wasn't sure who else to pick and we had been friends for so long. I should've known better because she was also very unreliable.
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