Bridesmaid Drama

I think you need to re-evaluate your expectations here - I don't think your friend/bridesmaid is in any way sabotaging your wedding by purchasing shoes of a different colour to what you specified and I don't know why this would make you question the friendship.

I don't know why she would tell you she wasn't told by you to get a specific shoe if you had in fact done this. In any case, if the shoes are going to be seen and are drastically different to those of the other bridesmaids, I would ask her if she can return them for shoes closer to what the others will be wearing, and if need be, buy them for her. If the gowns are long or otherwise the shoes she bought are similar enough to the shoes your other bridesmaids are wearing, I would just let it go and move on.

So if you want your group to wear a specific shoe, you should be buying it. The wedding party is only responsible for their dresses/suits. If you're requiring professional hair, nails and makeup, you also should be paying for that too.

Why would she be sabotaging your wedding? How would a slightly off shade of shoe wreck things?

You're getting close to ruining a friendship that was important to you over shoes. Shoes. There must be a way of handling this that isn't friendship ending. I would apologize to her about accusing her of lying, and hope that you guys get back to where you were before all this.

It might be a good idea to have a look and maybe reevaluate your expectations. It does seem like a lot of drama.

Sabotaging is a very strong word here to be used over shoes. A slightly off color shoe is sabotaging? You know what people don't pay attention to? Shoes, let alone bridesmaids shoes when they are wearing floor length gowns. Even mid length dresses I can tell you, I cant remember a single one.

If you are requiring a specific anything (and in some places even dresses), you should be paying for them. Professional hair, make-up, jewelry, and shoes. Ask her to return them if she can. See if it's a budget thing. But do not end a friendship over shoes. Your last couple of sentences make me think that the shoes are the least of your problems with her as a friend.

Just know if you kick her out. Friendship over, there is usually no coming back from that. And you will probably no longer be in her bridal party moving forward. Also, if you kick her out you need to reimburse her for anything she has spent money on for your wedding

The best and simplest solution to this "drama" is to simply let it go. As everyone else has said, shoes and shoe color isn't really important in the big picture. Not buying the right shoe can in no way be considered sabotage, and it's a ridiculous thing to think of ending a friendship over.

Step back, reevaluate your priorities and choose to let this go and move on. It's within your power to release yourself from this source of stress.

Sabotaging your wedding by getting slightly different shoes???? Please get a grip and check yourself. She may not have seen the communications or interpreted them the same way you or anyone else did. You are a Bridezilla if a shoe is going to ruin your friendship and wedding day.

Nobody is going to notice the shoes. If the color is a shade off from your other bridesmaids, the only time you'd MAYBE be able to tell they're different is if your bridesmaids are all standing right next to each other and their shoes aren't covered by their dresses. If guests even notice, they'll chalk it up to different lighting.

I have one bridesmaid planning on wearing nude pumps, another wearing glittery flats, and a third I think is wearing strappy heels. I promise, shoes are not a hill worth dying on.

"I'm not sure how to handle this without seeming like I'm being a "bridezilla"."

I'm afraid that ship has sailed.

Of all the hills to die on, this should be the least of them. Unless everyone will be wearing blue, and she chose orange, no one is going to notice. And if you were planning a close up pic of everyone with their foot up on a chair or rock or something, then just skip that.

Don't stress about the little things. Just take it all in stride and enjoy your day!

I agree with everyone else. If you want a specific shoe, then you should be paying. Bridesmaids generally only cover their dresses. The shoes won't even be visible if the dresses are long