Bridesmaid doesn’t respond to me

I’m sorry you’re going through this

maybd have SO ask her what’s up?

And maybe a “hey I know everyone is so busy with holidays and everything else so I just wanted to make sure you were still want to be in the wedding party and are going to be able to get the dress I sent you”

have you only enailed? Some people don’t really check them

good luck regardless I hope you have a perfect day

I definitely wouldn’t have your FS get involved. This is your bridal party and it’s between the two of you.
Do you ever see her in person? Do you live in the same area or will you see her for the holidays? I would approach her face to face. Let her know you need to know about hair and makeup by *insert date* otherwise you’ll assume she’s doing her own. Also give her the latest date the dress can be ordered to arrive on time.

View Quoted Comment That’s true! No I live very far from her we are about 12 hours apart

Like the pp said I would have your FH ask her for the answers. Maybe have him talk to her about how you aren't getting the responses. He could even play dumb and be like hey my fiance thinks somethings wrong with her email

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Thank you so much this is helpful

Why not have your fiancé talk to her and ask if she actually wants to be in the wedding party.

View Quoted Comment I hope everything works out smoothly and you have a perfect wedding day

Have you just emailed? It might be time to give her a call to check in with make sure she has the info, follow up on the questions you have, and makes sure everything is going well. It's a lot easier to ignore an email than a text. If you still can't reach her have FH talk to her.

I personally use FB messenger to contact my bridesmaids in a group message so that I can see exactly who has read what so that nobody can say they didn't get the message! It has worked out great for me because before when I was just texting sometimes I didn't get a response so by doing this it has been a great help!

Usually you need to order dresses around 4 months before the wedding. They come in in 2-10 weeks mostly, sometimes 3 months. Your other women shopped early, maybe at your urging. But since there is no need to place an order til the last of January, you really should not fault her for not getting one yet. She may have decided, better for her budget to buy after the holidays, which should be fine. This HMU thing has really gotten out of hand. This week alone, there have been brides upset that BM will not commit to it a year out, and one angry that having asked BM more than a year ago, like 16-17 months before the wedding, they said yes, and mow some are reversing it. But it is totally unreasonable for brides to book things that far out. Being BM has always been around, it is mot a new thing. But people rarely put any money on the table for anything til 4-5 months before the wedding. And when people accept, who know that, brides who push for everything unnecessarily early, create half the problems they are having. Reality TV fantasyland shows BM as a functioning cheerleading, activities, and social club, with all people constantly communicating, chatting, planning things 4-10 months before needed. But you live in the real world, and if you do not adjust your expectations to what NEEDS to happen, when, not your idea of doing everything way ahead of time, you will be the reason you have problems. Some of your other BM are fine with doing everything way ahead, fine. But to fault someone who will be a relative, and start a bad relationship now, would carry over to married years. I doubt one more or less will matter for MUA. It is possible to write a contract which says, JMIS for at least 4 BM at a cost of____ and possibly a 5th at same rate. Plus bride at ____. How do you think brides who are engaged 4-5 months manage to do everything ( and they do.). Decide, do you care more about good relationships, or getting things all done way ahead for your satisfaction. And keep in mind something you will read here, over and over: People asked to commit to things way in advance, often find that things have changed by 4-5 months before the wedding, and break their commitments, because they no longer have the money or time. And the further ahead of the wedding BM buy dresses , the more likely they are to have a weight change or pregnancy, needing as much money , or more, than the dress cost originally. And usually, the first one they get angry at is the bride, for having had them order too early. And if they pay a lot for alterations, another $200 on top of original cost, they may pull out of doing a shower, a bachelorette, or paying for HMUA. Will you get upset if they do that?

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Thanks for the feedback. We are 5 months from wedding day! The bridal shop told my other bridesmaid who ordered 2 weeks ago her dress should be in 2 months before the wedding. Not sure how far out you thought we were lol.

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I am also not doing a bachelorette party and this particular bridesmaid is not coming for the shower. I am letting her choose if she would like hair or make up it is not at all required I would just need to let my HMUA know because she needs to see if she needs a second lady to help. I am also letting her choose any dress she would like in the color I picked. I didn't realize I was asking too much! lol I thought being a bridesmaid only had one requirement and that being to buy the dress.

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This is a great Idea I will try that instead. it would be helpful to see that she has at least read the message

Just call her

View Quoted Comment Your profile says , may 24, so if she orders in Jan , she will be fine. Bridal shops always estimate orders will take more time than they do, to take them off the hook for mistakes ( A bad dress that arrives 8-10 weeks out can be replaced if damaged on arrival, and shops do not like people calling on due date, so they tell you it takes longer, so you will be happily surprised when it comes in earlier, and not calling every day. I worked the wedding gown industry making gowns, still do some alterations.) I have never ordered a BM dress over $500, where the detail work means you may wait a little longer. But I have been in 50+ weddings through the years, ages 14-37 now, and now once had a dress they said would come in 12 weeks, come in 10. All others, arrived 2-8 weeks. David's stores say 3-4 months. All mine or sisters, other bridal party people, always in 2-3 weeks. It is to the shop's advantage to ask people to shop early. But not necessary.

View Quoted Comment ^ yaaaa!!!

Can you text or call her individually, rather than a group email? Maybe she doesn't check her email often or gets tons of emails because of work? Or have your fiance talk to her and ask for an answer?

View Quoted Comment So if she shops in a bridal salon in the third week of Jan, fine. End of February, she will pay an extra lete order rush fee. And if she picks a dress off the rack in a formal wear shop, in your specified color, in April, she will be fine. She is an adult, so we all must assume she will be responsible enough to get the dress. If she does not have it the week before, then she will only sit in the family area and watch. You hope she will take care of things. But for lots of people, the more you push, the more they will not respond, because they find it irritating. Who knows, in Match, she may cut her hair and it will be easy to comb ot, blow dry, done. You have given her the info. If she decides on pro HMU and your person cannot fit her in on short notice, she can make arrangements for someone else to do it , and be done in time to join you, groomed and dressed, an hour or two early for pictures if necessary. The hard part for a bride is often saying, she is an adult. She got herself to school, work, and every party or special affair, for years. She can figure out how to buy a dress the right color, and get her hair done as she wants, without supervision and reminders. . .Since you never have been in contact much before, your emails may have been shuffled out by a spam filter, as a group email, not from a familiar email address. That is worth checking if neither you nor FI hears anything by the end of the holidays. My MOH and BM's were at a distance, too. After one phone call right after I was engaged in mid May, they all shopped in summer, sent a pic of dress by Sept. 30 , Perfectly groomed and dressed with no reminders, a week and a half later. We chatted and wrote usual friend letters and phone calls. Not wedding stuff. They are adults, everyone looked great. Trust.

You may have the wrong email something got mistyped or something. Also maybe it is going u. Her spam mail. My school stuff did that.

View Quoted Comment Ther may be something wrong.