Bridesmaid Dilemma

How are you involving her in other ways? I personally wouldn't involve her period if you don't like her behavior. You need to do what you want, don't cater to other people's feelings and forget your own. Don't try to make people happy if you aren't going to be happy.

She can be a guest. She doesn’t need a role. A guest is a huge honor in itself. Her behavior is not appropriate in general and especially not for a bridesmaid, so you are not wrong to not include her. You need to listen to your gut because it will never steer you wrong.

View Quoted Comment

I agree with this. Sure, it's annoying when people make assumptions about being in a bridal party without being invited, but it doesn't need to be allowed to be made a big deal.

You will need to be direct with her the next time she makes an assumptive comment so that this doesn’t get out of hand. Remember that even if she’s disappointed for not being included, that doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. And a “consolation prize” of including her in other ways doesn’t really solve any problems, so I don't recommend it. She's not in your inner circle, so she can just be a wedding guest.

View Quoted Comment She a photographer so she is doing our engagement photos for super cheap. She also will be invited to the bachelorette.

View Quoted Comment She a photographer so she is doing our engagement photos for super cheap. She also will be invited to the bachelorette

View Quoted Comment Sorry I replied with the response I meant for AJ! Thank you for your response! You are right! I do feel I need to stick with my gut!

View Quoted Comment

I wouldn't include her in the bachelorette since she will only be attending as a guest. Thats just me though, you do you.

View Quoted Comment

Her doing your engagement photos isn't involving her in the wedding - that's a business transaction. My SIL's MIL is my seamstress but she won't be getting special privileges because of it.

I don't think it's weird to invite other close friends to the Bachelorette, but is she going to be the only person not in the bridal party invited? That may seem like a slap in the face to her. It seems like she's already dramatic, so telling her she's not in the BP will probably upset her quite a bit. You can and should still shut her down now about it and from there you can see if she still considers you a close enough friend to want to support you in other ways even if she doesn't get a title.

If you don’t want to include her in the bridal party don’t! I wouldn’t go out of my way to tell her she isn’t in the bridal party. However, if she brings it up I’d say I wanted to keep it really small and beyond my sisters I only had room for one more. If she doesn’t understand than that’s her problem not hers.


I also think it’s completely appropriate to have no bridal party members at the bachelorette.

I meant non bridal party members. Not “no”.

View Quoted Comment No she won’t be the only one…few other close friends that aren’t in the bridal party will be invited including my FH sisters.

Since you are only having 5, and four of those are your sisters, I think you could sit her down and have a conversation along the lines of, "We really want to keep the wedding party as small as possible since I have so many sisters, so we have decided to limit it to the four of them and [insert 20-year friend], but I wanted to let you know personally because I didn't want you to think that our decision is a reflection on our friendship in any way. I hope you understand because you mean so much to me and we are so excited to celebrate with you on our big day!"