Bridesmaid decisions

Honestly it's really up to you and your FH who you want standing with you. I will ask what would you do if friend C and A broke up and you invited C to be a BM, would that change your relationship? I think you should consider not having either so avoid the conflict and drama. And that reduces the chances of you having talk talk about your "friends" with the other.

I would consider which friendships will be long standing when considering who to include in your wedding party. Which people do you foresee being in your life for the long run, and not just temporarily? Which friends have supported your relationship with your fiance? Which friends do you fully trust and enjoy being around? In 10 years from now, which friends will still be in your life? Those are the people I would recommend that you choose to be in the wedding party. For the others, you can always ask them to do a reading, or find other ways to honor them.

Personally to avoid the drama, I don’t even know if I’d invite “friend” b to the wedding. It seems like she harbors some resentment toward you since you set her and friend A up and it didn’t work out.
You don’t need of that extra nastiness at your wedding.
I would have either of the ladies in my party, if it were me. No need to stir that pot at all.

*i would not have either

I agree with others, and I'd add that perhaps you put off asking either for a while yet (if you do decide to do so). The typical advice is to ask the wedding party 8-12 months before the wedding, but especially this year when things have changed on a daily basis due to Covid there seem to be even more posts from brides who want/need to make changes regarding your wedding party and wish they hadn't asked anyone so early. I also think it's kind of typical that engagement announcements bring people out of the woodwork with, "Oh, my gosh! We HAVE to get together!!!!" If you're not really sure how you feel about B and her motives, I'd give it some time and not make any decisions. Similarly, with C, unless you feel like the two of your are close friends regardless of her relationship with A, I'd minimally stall on making a decision about her (and I'd probably skip her completely -- just because she's dating a close friend doesn't mean she needs to be a BM). Given what you've shared, I think you'll save yourself some drama if you just put this off for a time and see how you feel about the people/relationships much later in the year. Either way, it's usually best if the wedding party only includes true friends, not people with weird personal motives to be part of your day. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the response! We have been engaged for over 2 years now so friend B knew about it and did not the pull the "we have to get together soon" card because of the engagement announcement but instead I feel like she pulled the card because she wants to get info on the relationship of Friend A and C! Our wedding is set for October 2021, so we wanted to ask our bridal party around approx the 1 year mark which would be October of this year! But perhaps I just need some more time to think on the subject!

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I greatly agree that's stress you do not need during your wedding planning and wedding day.

I agree with pp that you probably shouldn’t have either B or C in your bridal party. Having them as just guests would be perfectly fine and still make them feel included without the added stress on you.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the response! I wouldn't think if friend A and C broke up that my relationship with friend C would change. We are coworkers as well as friends so I don't think there would be any hard feelings. Friend A and C's relationship also seems a lot stronger than Friend A's relationship ever was with Friend B.

Yea I don’t think I’d have either one in the bridal party

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Then, for me, that makes her sudden interest even more suspect.... If she's pretty much ignored you (and the wedding) until she found about about A&C, I'd steer clear. We had a similar, but maybe even weirder situation with a parent of one of daughter's MOHs.... Our two families had been very close while the girls were growing up, but several years ago the parents went through a very rough patch (mostly created by bad decisions by the mom) and after they got back together they completely ghosted us (the husband had confided in my husband, so probably felt really awkward that we knew too many details about the wife's behavior). Anyway, our daughters are grown women and still friends. When daughter asked the friend to be in the wedding, the mom was suddenly sending me texts about how excited she was for the wedding.... They were never on the guest list and I finally had to straight up tell her that. She even asked to attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, even though they had nothing to do with the wedding, because "she wanted to be a fly on the wall and see her daughter and her boyfriend together because she doesn't get much time with them...." OMG! That's just bizarre and so blatantly self-serving. It was super awkward, but I just messaged back that it wasn't possible.... People are really weird! Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for responding! I feel as if my friendship with Friend B isn't the greatest anymore. As I had mentioned, we were friends in HS and drifted our own ways throughout college and then later rekindled. And now I feel like we've drifted apart again. I feel like I have a good friendship with Friend C because we are coworkers and see each other on a daily basis. I do like the idea of having one of them do a reading/prayer etc that way they are still included. Thank you for that suggestion!

View Quoted Comment Thanks for the response. The only problem is that my fiancé wants (he says NEEDS) to have x y and z as his groomsmen so I am struggling to find friends to have as my bridesmaids. We were planning on 6 bridesmaid and 6 groomsmen. I have a solid 5 friends that I know I can count on and would like to include in the bridal party, but I'm just struggling with number 6. Maybe I'll sit down with my fiancé and try to work something out.

View Quoted Comment You don’t have to have the same number on both sides. It’s an option to consider. I wouldn’t pick someone just so it’s even, you know?

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Agree with this.... SIL had six (and had to work hard to narrow it down -- he's a huge extrovert and never met a person who wasn't a "best friend" lol) and daughter had five (she's an equally huge introvert and chooses her friends very carefully). She also has some pretty strong issues with things matching/symmetry/etc., so it took her some time to decide she could live with uneven sides. For a while she had a sixth woman chosen and was all set to ask her, but in the process of trying to get together daughter was reminded of things she doesn't love about the sixth woman and ultimately decided not to ask her after all and go with five. She was SO glad; the five were all truly close friends (who didn't all know each other) who were willing to totally put daughter and HER needs first (not in a bridezilla kind of way, just in a no drama way). That wouldn't have been the case with the sixth; adding her to the group would have added drama and significantly changed the group dynamic. In the photos, unless you stop and count, it's never obvious there weren't an equal number of male and female wedding party members. In the processional, one of the best men walked me down the aisle and then joined SIL at the altar, while each of the other five escorted a BM. For the recessional, two of the guys walked out with the last BM. It worked out fine. Good luck figuring things out.

View Quoted Comment I've already overcome the hurdle of who I'm having as my MOH. I was stuck between one of my best friends growing up who I'm still friends with but not as close with vs another friend of mine who I see more of often than said best friend. I would feel comfortable with either as my MOH but I was leaning more towards the best friend growing up only for the fact that I wanted the other girl to be paired up and walk with her husband. But I think it's best for me to chose my friend who I see more often than the best friend and I'll have her walk with the girls husband. Ugh there's so many obstacles to overcome lol. Thank you for the insight though. I may consider having 2 of the groomsman walking with 1 bridesmaid.

I would skip Person B. I wouldn't call that a friend. While you're free to choose whomever you want, typically you pick those who have a very close relationship to you because they are supportive of you and your relationship. No one needs the drama you're describing.