Bridesmaid complaints

The ONLY thing I can sort of see where she's coming from is about the dress. Sometimes people struggle to find a dress when they have so few guidelines. Maybe you can pick a few different styles and ask them to choose from among them, or a specific fabric?

On every other complaint of hers, tell her that you appreciate her enthusiasm, but you just want them to be comfortable and enjoy being by your side. If she wants to get her hair and her nails done, there is absolutely nothing saying she can't do those things.

I totally see both sides of this. When I was the MOH to someone, I felt the same sort of lack of involvement that she's feeling. I wanted to be included in stuff and have her come to me for help, but she didn't. It's almost a pre-conceived idea you have when your best friend is getting married, I suppose. With that being said, I'm now on the other end as the bride. Try to include her in certain things, like dress shopping and such. Other things are certainly up to you and the FH. But be gentle with her, because her enthusiasm is refreshing after seeing so many girls say "bridesmaids need to buy a dress and show up".

They already bought their dresses, we went to the salon and I picked the color I wanted and a few styles, but I told them I want them to be happy with what they are paying for. They ended up picking the same dress because they wanted to look uniform, I wouldn't have cared if they had different styles/lengths. I don't care which shoe they buy and it's no difference to me how they style their hair. Maybe I'm too laid back?

Edit: she's been to a lot of appointments, I'm not shutting her out and I know she really wants to do things like make signs, I won't turn down the offer. I'm a people pleaser so I thought I was involving her a lot. Maybe I'll set up a diy day with her, she's very crafty and I know she'd love it. I think she really wants me to ask her for more help. But I also know she's got a lot on her personal plate.

Just try to involve her a little more. If you have time you could offer to help her shop for the dress?

My MOH did the same thing. She pulled a list of her 'duties' from Google and didn't feel I was giving her the opportunity to be a good MOH. She also complained that the whole picking a color and not a dress was stupid. I want the experience to be good for both of us so I will include her in more things. I told her about the two DIY projects I would like to do and I promised to go dress shopping with her and pick a dress. Just try and include her a bit more and see how that goes.

Why not let her be more involved? I was showing my MOH the shoes I wanted for the wedding on etsy and she said, "OOOO can I try to make those for you?" I couldn't see why not... (not a friendor - I'm not paying her or anything, and if it doesn't work out she's fine with me buying alternate shoes).

Thanks guys. The dress is bought and she's really happy with it. I have all my vendors so no more of those meetings. I didn't want to add more to her plate and always just figured it was my day to figure out, but I guess if she's open to it I'll invite her to dress fittings and diy days. Please don't get me wrong I'm incredibly grateful just didn't realize she wanted to do more. I'm so blessed that she's throwing me a shower and Bach party, never want to ask for more

It's awesome she wants to help. Maybe you can include her in something small? Making favors, or going to dress fittings.

As for the bm proposals, I was so upset when my bm's mom said the same to me. It made me feel like I did something wrong, when it's completely unnecessary. What I said was I decided to get nicer thank you gifts instead.

My MOH (sister) is acting the same way. Which I get! It's the first wedding she is in and she is really excited about the "role" of being MOH. She has asked me to delegate tasks to her (which I have a really hard time doing) but I have asked her to do some little things, which she has taken head on. For her gift I'm going to (UO here) but play up the MOH role and get her a tote that says something like that, an MOH tumbler, along with other more personal sister things (don't worry, guys). Some people are just more stoked about all this. You got some great advice from pp's, include them in what you can and consider yourself lucky to have such eager to help friends!

Lissy- Thank you. It would be my worst nightmare to have people think I'm demanding. I'm pretty go with the flow 90% of the time. I have to be with work. I suggested to her that I might like to get flannels for everyone and print their favorite quote from their favorite fandom on them and it sounds like a well liked idea

Private- I guess I should have left the part out about the dress, it's purchased and she's really pleased with it. Moving forward I'll ask her for more help, and remind her she can ALWAYS tell me no

@Kristin F. I feel ya as I have a similar attitude. I finally went and picked 5 dresses in the same color from the same company and same hem length and they picked which they wanted and felt most comfortable in. So, slightly more direction but not a ton. I also didn't care about hairstyle, etc. This time around (example was a broken engagement) is just my sister and I said fires what your bouquet will look like. Pick your own dress :p I'm not very helpful, but I want her to be comfy. I am paying to get her hair and makeup done.

Sorry just saw your last comment. Ignore above :p maybe just give her specific tasks to be in charge of?

Why the fuck does she even care this much..?? Jeez she needs to chill out

Involve your bridal party it will truly take some of the pressure off of you and FH.