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Just Said Yes May 2026

Bridesmaid Cheated on her partner now i conflicted with having her in the wedding

Clementine, on September 14, 2025 at 11:10 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4
Long story ahead. This person is a very sweet gal. But I asked her because she's a new friend and she's the gf of my fiance's long time friend. We get along very well and have a lot in common. But I think I may have jumped the gun because I don't really know her that well, and we've only ever hung out when a party or friend gathering was happening. Now on to the bad stuff.


I started seeing some depressing and cryptic posts from her BF, and I reached out. Seeing if he was okay. He said that things are very much not okay and to ask her. And that she messed up real bad. So I did, reaching out and checking in if she's doing okay. All she said was that she's working on some things and that things will be okay. Just a lot of "okay" here.
Fast forward and I learn that her BF is heading out of state for a trip and to look for some work. So I ended up talking to my fiance who reached out to him, and my fiance said that his friends GF, my bridesmaid, cheated on him. It was a big blow. I dislike cheaters and liars more than anything. I decided to give it a couple of weeks before reaching out again, and I asked her what exactly happened. I originally thought she got too drunk and was assaulted, but it turns out the person came on to her and she did not say no, even though she was drunk; her words. I also found out from my fiance that his friend told him he was HOME SLEEPING while this was going on and she originally lied when he confronted her and apparently there's some stuff on her phone. Although I don't know what.
So my whole dilemma, and me asking for advice, is if there's anybody who has been in the situation or if anybody has any advice. I really do like this girl, she's become a newer friend, but after speaking with my maid of honor, I'm not so sure about keeping her in. My moh said, "think about it really hard. She is a sweet girl but how much do you really know her?" And then my moh said that this is a pattern of behavior because she also heard from someone else that this bridesmaid got drunk and tried to come on to another guy with her bf in the room. So it seems that this isn't just a one and done thing. She's currently in therapy right now, which idk if this was something SHE wanted or if her BF told her to do. I still don't know the full details; at the end of the day it's not really my business how they work on their relationship but my gut is telling me to ask her to step down.
Any thoughts or advice or comments would be very appreciated!

4 Comments

Latest activity by Clementine, on September 15, 2025 at 6:47 PM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I would NEVER have asked someone I'm barely even friends with to be in my wedding especially when you have a long time yet until you even get married. It's very possible and highly likely they could be broken up by then and you might not even really have anything to do with her. This is why it's A. recommended waiting until about 6-8 months prior to the wedding to ask people to be in the wedding and B. only asking those you are really close to such as family or long time friends. At this point I wouldn't plan on having her in the wedding especially if your fiancé's friend will be in the wedding and there's a chance they won't be together. I also wouldn't want someone who clearly doesn't respect or value relationships to be standing up for me at my wedding.

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    Just Said Yes May 2026
    Clementine ·
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    Thank you for your input and I'm actually going to ask her to step down after thinking about it and talking it over with my moh and fiance. I've known her for a few years now, and her bf is not in the wedding. We hang at parties and I'm group setting but after some hard truths from MoH and fiance, I realised I made a mistake in asking her.

    My morals and my gut tell me to dismiss her. I just can't have someone who does not value the sanctity of their relationship to be involved in the ultimate commitment of my own. I'll be breaking the news this week. Ty again for the reply.
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  • LM
    Super December 2022
    LM ·
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    Oh actually you don't get to claim moral superiority until After you become a Missus. 😆 If she was married cheating on her husband, I'd see the real ethical conflict, but rn you just have the story from her bf.
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  • C
    Just Said Yes May 2026
    Clementine ·
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    Nah I have the full story from all sides now. It's wack. Done and done.
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