Bridesmaid backed out 2 months before due to financial issues, we saved the date over a year ago...

It's clear that your wedding was not her top priority, I am sorry your dealing with that.

Honestly, while she could have handled this better, it doesn't seem fair to judge her for her financial problems. It sounds like she has a lot going on.

I'm sorry she dropped out so late in the game. that stinks. but honestly, the stress of finances can be overwhelmingl. she and her husband may be having a really hard time. despite what is seen on the outside, you can't really know their situation. or worse, maybe she's just a flake and not a very good friend. in that case, its better that you find out now and just move on.

i'm curious as to why pregnancy would interfere with being a bm?

Ugh. Sorry Andrea. It sucks because your wedding will never be as important to anyone as it is to you and friends tend to get flaky. Keep your eye on the prize (FH) and remember what's important. Her loss!

Well first off, furloughed employees are losing 20% of their income (assuming she's a furloughed DoD employee). That's a HUGE chunk of change.

Secondly, the Hawaii trip, the car trouble, and really everything else doesn't matter. Her finances are her business, and at least she came to you now and said something. I'm sure she feels terrible. Try to see it from her point of view.

I think what gets me the most is that she booked the trip to Hawaii purposely 2 weeks before our wedding, after she knew our wedding was out of state.

Both pregnant girls are due early late September, difficult to travel with a 1 month old!

I had to drop out of one of my BFFs weddings a few months before. Trust me, it didnt feel good. I would try not to judge her. It's ok for her to be planning a trip with her husband & make that a priority. Maybe they really need the time together, you never know. It's definitely a bummer though, keep your head up.,, one less bridesmaid gift to buy!

Planning a trip to Hawaii two weeks before she's supposed to be a BM isn't ideal, but I'm SURE she's kicking herself for it now that her husband's been furloughed.

I will say this, her finances are her business, I know it's very frustrating for you though. Sometimes no matter how far in advance you plan with someone they still have things come up in their personal lives that can change what they can do.

We're spending $1100 on unexpected car repairs this afternoon (just found out yesterday). We have to stop making new wedding deposits until we pay our savings back that $1100 to my savings account. :-( I will not let this wedding drive me into the ground.

Getting that quote for a car is heart-plummeting. If it was recent, she probably wasn't planning it and that could suck money out.

Sorry for your bm loss.

Same thing happened to me. then a few months the BM wanted to know why I didnt wait for her to get her money up. sorry that your bm was being selfish.

It's not fair to say that she and her husband have to pick your wedding over other things... She may have booked Hawaii but that was before the pay cut. When they did the furlough it wasn't just 2 days no pay there was pay cuts involved too. 2nd... Offer to pay maybe shell be able to come. You're not asking her to drive 20 mins. She needs a hotel room, gas, food etc for the week. Also realize its also her husbands money too. So she can't just say hey I'm leaving to go here... And sometimes we all just need a vacation