Bridesmaid asking etiquette via text?

Yeah, it's WAY early for that. Maybe next year at this time

I would seriously reconsider asking someone just because FH wants you to.

FH and I had been planning a big wedding (had vendors, paid deposits, the whole shebang) and I had asked his best friend's wife to be a bridesmaid because he wanted her to be in the wedding. I asked her and then literally didn't hear a response from her for over a month. It was super awkward because I didn't know if I was okay to proceed in her absence, if she was planning on being in the wedding, etc.

Long story short, seriously give this some more thought. Your BMs should be those that are closest to you. Not your FH.

ETA: also didn't look at your date. Way too early. You shouldn't pick your BP until 6-8 months before.

I keep explaining that it's way too early to ask... but he's insisting that I ask her now. I feel bad because both him and his mother made me put his sister on the spot by having to ask right away.

Please stop giving me crap for wanting to give my girls a small gift... I'm a very crafty person... my friends are very used to handmade gifts from me. They wouldn't expect anything less of me.

I was thinking of asking her the next time I saw her.

I just wanted to know if it's crappy to ask via text.

I personally would call them (or meet in person). Maybe I'm old fashioned with this, but a text seems impersonal to me. Also, as PP said you've got plenty of time, I would not pick your BP yet.

Your FH shouldn't dictate who is to stand in on your side. If he wants her so badly to be in the wedding party she could stand on his.

With that said, it really is WAY too early to ask.

So, he's being pushy about asking his friend, and he was also pushy about asking his sister?

Why does he need you to ask these people ASAP? That's a bit odd to me.

Crap about the gifts?

Yeah he needs to back off with this

I told him I wanted to ask her in person... he thinks that because of their profession and schedules, I wouldn't have the chance to go to lunch or something with her.

He's not so much dictating as much as he keeps suggesting I ask her. Again, I have no problem with asking her... but I just know that it is way to early to ask her.

FH keeps saying that because everyone in BP is either family or close friends, it shouldn't matter that I ask so far out. (Uh yes it does because I casually asked a close friend and then 3 months later I got a random text that she wasn't going to be able to do it, so again, I am comfortable with waiting until around this time 2017 to ask)

I guess to him, the more details we have ironed out the better?

Right now I'm more focused on figuring out the rest of the budget and getting together a list of vendors to meet. My bridal party is the furthest from my mind at the moment.

The lunch and gift are unnecessary - text alone is fine but I would probably call if it were me but that's not even needed

I don't think a text is necessarily crappy, but I feel like asking in person is better. It's odd that he's pushing for you to ask her NOW, regardless of how busy her work schedule is. Tell him what you told us - your priorities are budget and vendors and you'll pick a wedding party when it's time.

Tell him you're open to asking her but it's not normal to ask this early. If he's anything like my FH, he probably has no idea what a normal wedding planning schedule looks like. This will buy you time. It would be awkward if for any reason one left the job and they didn't stay close or there was a falling out. You never know. Go with your gut and wait a year