Bridesmaid and Bestman are married but are getting a divorce

This is a tough situation. I don't think there's anyway to ensure it's completely drama free but if they're having a "drama-free" divorce and they're civil during the process I don't see why they both can't stand up.

On a completely unrelated note: You're getting married on my birthday

I would sit down with her in month or so and seriously ask her if she is comfortable standing with you on your day. Tell her the last thing you want is for her to be upset and hurting.

I would wait a little bit to see how everything unfolds between her and her soon to be ex husband.

There isnt anything you can do to "ensure a drama free wedding" but maybe by talking to her at a somewhat later point, you can get a better feel with how both of them are handling the situation.

Unfortunately I don't think their divorce will be drama free, he has been seen out with other women. I don't expect her to do anything on purpose but if he were to provoke her in any way I don't see how she could stop herself from reacting.

Would it be in our rights to say that neither of them is allowed to bring a date, that might keep potential drama down to a minimum.

Ouch. Here's hoping it can be a somewhat amicable separation.

Im sure neither of them would have the ill intent to purposefully cause a scene but as you said, something could happen. Especially when alcohol is involved.

You can do whatever you want because its your wedding and I think giving neither a plus one would be a very good idea.

Best of luck to you and both of your friends!

I don't think they should bring dates..

But I really think if they are both comfortable they should both be in the wedding party!

I have been there-- a close friend got married to a nice lady 4 months before our wedding. She'd been a HUGE help for me planning my wedding, so I invited her to be a BM (also, my husband wanted things balanced). Well, less than a month after they were married, she bailed, so they were busy getting divorced at the time of our wedding. Must have been Super Awkward for her, since she was new to our circle of friends and he was the reason we met in the first place.

Still, we sat them at opposite ends of the table and did NOT have them walk each other down the aisle and no drama ensued. Of course, there's no guarantee you won't have fireworks, but it isn't guaranteed you will, either. Just depends on how adult and mature the couple are willing to be for a few hours.

I think it would be really awkward to be the date of someone a) in a bridal party and b) at the same wedding as their recent ex. It would probably be a lot easier if neither of them brought dates.