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Savvy May 2018

Bridesmaid Alternatives

Molly&James, on August 14, 2017 at 5:10 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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So, FH and I are having an intimate beach wedding with just immediate family attending. I'd like to have all (5) of my sisters be bridesmaid but 1. that will leave the "audience" kind of empty and 2. is it just obnoxious to have that many bm's at such a small wedding?

I've thought about just having 1 or 2 BM's but I really hate to leave some of my sisters out, we're all really close.

second problem is how do you choose how to order them? Is there an option where they can all be bm's but then like not stand up there in order?

Lastly, I hate to leave out my future SIL too, but with 5 bm's already and her and I not really being that close would leaving her out be understandable? I mean, I wasn't in her wedding..

Just for reference there will be about 40 there people in all.

I appreciate any and all advice! I'm not good at planning things and I'm a huge people pleaser!

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10 Comments

Latest activity by AdventuresofRuth, on August 14, 2017 at 7:25 PM

Savvy September 2018
kmr374 · on August 14, 2017 at 5:12 PM
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Just ask your moh and no one else I suggest
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Dedicated July 2022
Tiffany · on August 14, 2017 at 5:16 PM
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I agree with Karissa. Just do a MOH. or if you dont want to hurt any of your sisters feelings by doing just a MOH have just you and FH.
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Master July 2017
StPaulGal · on August 14, 2017 at 5:19 PM
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I second (third?) the above. It would be a bit silly to have them all in the wedding when it's that small, and you don't want to pick and choose between them. Just have your best friend as MOH and call it good. Or if there is no one attending that you would want for that role, skip attendants all together.
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Savvy May 2018
Molly&James · on August 14, 2017 at 5:26 PM
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That's actually what FH has suggested too! lol I just don't want the MOH to feel like all the responsibilities are being dumped on her. (Bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc) How do I keep everyone included with out making them all BM's? I heard of a "Bridal Brigade" where they had no BM's and everyone was part of the brigade. kinda cute I thought...
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Master July 2017
StPaulGal · on August 14, 2017 at 5:28 PM
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Please don't ask them to be bridesmaids and then have them sit. The only "duty" a bridesmaid has is to show up on time, in the dress, and stand up there with you. I would be pretty peeved if someone asked me to buy a dress, pose for pictures, etc. and then I didn't even get to stand up there with them during the wedding.
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Master July 2017
StPaulGal · on August 14, 2017 at 5:29 PM
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Don't worry about dumping responsibilities on the MOH because there are no responsibilities. If she wants to host any parties, that's her call. She could ask your sisters to help, do it solo, or skip it. Whatever she wants to do.
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Champion June 2018
muriel · on August 14, 2017 at 6:02 PM
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Please be clear that it is not the MOH's responsibility to plan a shower or bachelorette. These are entirely optional and voluntary events.
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Savvy May 2018
Molly&James · on August 14, 2017 at 6:09 PM
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Ah good to know. I was the MOH at a wedding and felt like I had to do all that, so that's where I'm coming from. But as long as I let her know it's optional that will be helpful! What a relief!
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Devoted April 2018
Sophia · on August 14, 2017 at 7:22 PM
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Bridesmaids have no duties but if you've ever been one and you love the bride you definitely feel like you have duties. I say don't do a wedding party so you don't single anyone out and that way SIL won't have anything to complain or even notice that she was left out.
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VIP October 2017
AdventuresofRuth · on August 14, 2017 at 7:25 PM
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Could you just not have any wedding party? We are not having a "wedding party" but inviting those who would have been to the rehearsal dinner and to get ready/brunch with us the day of. Maybe that would work better for such a small wedding? Basically they do all the fun stuff without having to buy a dress or stand up anywhere.
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