Brides Maids

The couple plans their entire wedding (or hires a planner). The BMs and/or MOH may offer to throw you a bridal shower or bachelorette party, although anyone can offer to throw one for you. Otherwise your MOH is not helping you. Her primary job (and the BMs) are to stand with you on your wedding day. Typically, they pay for their own dresses. If they want their hair or makeup done, they’ll cover those too unless you require it then you pay for those.

View Quoted Comment Thanks I'm new to this and when I ask them what shade of colors they like they don't answer so we decided that there gonna deal with what ever shade we pick

View Quoted Comment Oh! Yes, you get to pick your wedding colors and which color you’d like them to wear as MOH/BMs in your wedding party. Before choosing a dress style for them, it’s a good idea to ask their budget first (personally I think it’s rude for a bride to choose a $250+ dress without asking her friends their budget first). Then you can choose 1 style for them all to wear. But a more popular trend is if you ask everyone in your wedding party to wear the same color from a bridesmaid dress collection, allow each to choose her own style that suits her body type best.


Azazie (online) and David’s Bridal are two popular places to get MOH/BM dresses.

View Quoted Comment I keep asking them what they think but my maid of honor is the only answering me is it ok I'm getting annoyed with them

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One thing to consider is that since your wedding is more than 2 years away (if the date on your profile is correct), it's just too far away for them to feel very invested in talking about these details -- especially if they are experiencing stress and uncertainty related to the pandemic situation, daily life, etc. Many suggest, with good reason, not asking the bridal party until a year out at the most. There is absolutely nothing they need to do or decide earlier than that. It's totally normal and understandable that you and fiance are super excited and ready to plan, but for your friends and family potentially in the wedding party it might not be that big of a deal and/or they might just have too much stuff going on right now to think about two years from now. I'd try not to be "annoyed" with them, as that might do some serious damage to your relationships. Enjoy your planning. If people ask you about your plans and ideas, that's a good invitation to share, but realize no one is going to care as much about your wedding as you do. Good luck!

I mean they don't help with the actual planning of the wedding but they can be asked to help for certain things or offer to help with things. mine mostly helped me set up for my ceremony and reception

You do the majority of planning yourself. Some brides want the the whole shebang with gatherings to do wedding related things (stuff invites, make favors, host parties) regardless if they are local. Others are happy to have them just show up and stand in the wedding as emotional support and sign legal paperwork. It depends on how involved you want them to be and what is realistic based on how far apart you live from each other. But be upfront about your expectations.

You and your future spouse are the only 2 who are responsible for any wedding planning. If bridal party or family offer to help and want to be a part of it, awesome. They will let you know. If they don't offer or ask about things, chances are they don't really want to be to involved in things.

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I think this is most likely the problem. Maybe give them time?

If your wedding is really more than 2 years away, it's too early to be asking your bridesmaids for input on their attire or other wedding details. It's early to have bridesmaids, even. There's nothing for them to do until 6-9 months before the wedding. When you get within that range ask them each, individually and privately, what their budget is for a dress, and go with the lowest budget, or give them all a color/length/fabric and let them pick their own in their own budget. If you want them to have professional hair or make up you need to pay for it, but if it's optional they can decide whether or not to get it done. If you specify shoes it should just be a neutral color, otherwise you should buy them if you require specific shoes (but I urge you not to choose specific shoes, or even types of shoes, as shoes are very individual and play a huge role in comfort).

I think 2 years is far for them to think about dresses especially with Covid going on. There are financial issue, mental health issues, relationship issues, etc ( people just going stir crazy ) and although planning our weddings might help us pass the time and look forward to something else they don't have the same priority. Not to mention in 2 years your relationships might change and you might lose/gain BM's/