Brides 2nd marriage and Grooms 1st who pays?!

I don't really think it matters that you've been married before. People don't really use traditional etiquette for who pays anymore, it's more who can afford it than anything! Ours ended up being more traditional with my side paying for everything wedding related but that's because my parents make far more money so it makes more sense!

A wedding if your responsibility unless someone offers to help. Do not ask his parents. If they want to help, they will offer. I would come up with a budget that you two can afford and plan within those limitations unless someone hands you a check.

If they offer to pay, graciously accept it- but don't ask anyone to pay for anything. You should assume you two are paying entirely on your own and be happy if anyone else offers to chip in!

It is always against etiquette to ask anyone to pay for your wedding. If someone offers to help then that is their prerogative but, you should never request it.

As for how you and your FH will pay for the wedding. That is an agreement that you both need to come to. The number of weddings shouldn't factor into it. FH and I both agreed that all wedding costs would be shared 50-50 each since we are entering a partnership and this wedding is equally for both of us. We already have a joint account for household bills so, we have been using this for wedding expenses too.

I wouldn't get in the mindset of his family should pay this and my family pay this. You and your FH are ultimately responsible for paying for the wedding you are choosing to have. I'd wait for them to offer if they'd like, but don't push them into contributing.