Bridemaid Delimma

I don’t necessarily think your crazy, but I do think you’re focusing on the wrong things. Her facial piercings aren’t going to ruin your photos, but you telling her she can’t be a bridesmaid anymore may (likely will) ruin whatever relationship you and your FH currently have with her and potentially cause tension with FH’s child that she’s married to.

At the end of the day, I don't think I would ask her to step down as a Bridesmaid. But I am disappointed with her choices without taking things into consideration.

I agree, you are focusing on the wrong things. We ask people to be members of our wedding parties based on our relationships with them, not based on their physical appearances. I assume (hope!) your love for this person doesn’t hinge on how attractive you find them or how good you feel they will look in pictures. Love and support your fiancé’s DIL and concentrate on the things that really matter- this isn’t one of them.

View Quoted Comment You're so right, Cece. Her being a part of the wedding is more important than her appearance.

View Quoted Comment Also, October is 10 months away! You will probably be so used to seeing the piercings by then, you won’t even notice it anymore. Or, you never know, she could get bored of them and take them out before then too! Or she may choose to take them out for the wedding on her own! I think when these things are brought up negatively, it makes it more likely for the person to feel insulted/indignant and want to keep them in just on principle.

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I agree with the others. You can definitely disagree with her choices while still loving her enough to have her in your wedding party. Yes, she'll be in some photos and for a while you'll probably think she stands out, but you'll have other photos without her and over time you'll just appreciate having her there with you. Besides, October is a long way out and maybe by then she'll change her appearance again. Best to just focus on your relationship with her and not her appearance so you're not stressed!

Even as a guest she won't look any different. She feels confident and beautiful, it's her body. How would you feel if someone told you your appearance would ruin photos? Don't ruin a relationship based on your preferred beauty standards.

I’d be annoyed but like others have said, it’s her body & choices. It wouldn’t be appropriate or kind to ask her to step down because she changed her body/appearance.

Take my opinion with a grain of salt because I have a nose ring and tattoos and my oldest daughter has a septum piercing 😋 I absolutely understand why you're thinking about it...but at the end of the day, I'm 99.9% sure you chose your wedding party based on who they are as people and their relationships with you and your husband to be. You didn't choose them based on appearance. So I wouldn't ask them to step down based on appearance. And while the piercings were obviously optional, to me it would be similar to ask someone someone step down because they got a haircut or color you don't like, gained weight, got pregnant, ended up on crutches, etc etc. Focus on what's most important. Her choice of piercings reflect on her not on you. 😊 But asking her to step down because of them would absolutely reflect on you...if that makes sense.

LMFAO this question hits me on a different level. My son is COVERED in face tattoos. He will be walking his grandmother down the aisle but I am sure when some future family member finds my wedding photos they will trip out. If anything you can ask her if she can take out some of the facial piercings for the photos? I agree with the others- her being there is more important than anything. Is it possible she is doing this to get out of being in the wedding? How excited is she to be in it? Sounds like she is going overboard and in a very quick fashion. I would try to gauge that as well.

You can’t dictate how your wedding party looks. It would be really offensive to ask her to remove her piercings