Okay so one of my friends is getting married in June of this year and I am her maid of honor. I have tried helping her plan as much as I can since I'm also planning my wedding which is in October.
This is the problem. She literally doesn't care about ANYTHING. I have given her multiple lists for her and her fiance to look over and start doing (since it's what THEY want) and she has barely done anything. She JUST told us what she wants us to wear a couple weeks ago and when I went to order the dress, it wasn't available. She didn't care and said to just get whatever. Okay. She hasn't started on decorations, music for the ceremony, no officiant, has no plan on flowers, no wedding day schedule AT ALL, invitations are not made or ordered and rsvps need to be in by May 13, doesn't care about what she does with her hair or makeup and said we can look however we want, and it's literally as if she doesn't care about her wedding day. I met with her the other night and got stressed out for her and she laughed and thought it was HILARIOUS that I'm more stressed about her wedding than she is. I am at a total loss and she expects me to plan her wedding for her when I told her that I can't do that for her in the very beginning. At this point I don't even want to be in her wedding. If she doesn't care about the most special day of her life, why should I? Someone please help me figure out what to do. I can't handle all of this and she thinks it's just so funny to see me stress like this for her. I am losing it!!! 😭
I had something similar happen with my best friend. I am very type A and I made a whole list for things she needed to do. And she was very lax and just didn't care about deadlines. So I told her straight out, I can't help you until you do this for yourself. She eventually started really getting into it and had a nice wedding, but sometimes it's best to just step back. Just because you're the maid of honor doesn't mean you are required to plan her whole wedding for her, so don't stress yourself out about it!
While I understand wanting to be a good friend, I would take a step back and let her handle things on her own. If she doesn't step up and take control of her own wedding then that's on her. You aren't responsible for handling her wedding.
Hi Anna, I agree with Alli! I was so stressed planning my own wedding I can’t imagine planning two!! She’s a big girl and will have to figure it out on her own. I wouldn’t ruin your friendship over it or step out of being MOH, if I were in your shoes I would just let her know you have a lot going on with your wedding but will have to give her the batton for her wedding. Good luck girlie ❤️
I wish I can chill a bit. I wanted to book everything already, but dh said it’s wayyyy to early. I already mentioned that the new venue is the most booked venue, and photographer won’t secure a date unless we put deposit. At least those 2 I am very nervous not too book asap. We have 18 months, but I am already 100% sure about the venue and photographer. If you ask my dh, he rather book 3-4 months before the date, or better —> a month ahead. I can’t understand. I am at my wits end. I can’t stop thinking and searching things for my wedding, but he is soooo chill, I feel like nothing matters to him. It’s frustrating. It’s depressing.
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That’s what I thought. However, in case the bride decide last minute for her (MOH) attire and then the pressure will be on the MOH. I mean, not everyone has a model body that fits in any dress like a glove. But one thing is sure here, plan your own wedding not others 😊
You should relax and let it go. In the end it’s not your wedding. So your stress about it is totally self-inflicted. Additionally, every bride isn’t overly obsessed about a wedding and she might not view it as “the most special day of her life”. So you just focus all that extra energy on planning your own wedding and let her plan hers.
Her wedding, her problem. If she doesn't care, you shouldn't either. Just stop talking to her about her wedding. Don't give her lists. Don't follow up on her officiant or invitations or anything else. Let her handle it and just focus on your wedding.
Don’t stress yourself out girl! Focus on your wedding and prioritize yourself first, she can’t expect you to make all of the decisions without her opinion on her own day. She needs to start contributing and being more decisive so you aren’t carrying the stress of ultimately planning two weddings
Drop out and save your sanity. Set and maintain boundaries and learn to say no. Not everyone shares the same priorities and that is ok.
It doesn’t sound like she cares so I wouldn’t put much effort into it! You have your own wedding to plan - don’t give energy when it’s not wanted! Let her wedding be a train wreck, it isn’t your problem!
Sounds like she genuinely doesn't care. Let her handle it then
You have to stop planning it for her. Thats not your role, but you're doing it because you're afraid she wont and it's enabling her. No one in my bridal party even knows what stage of planning I am on. Just simply stop planning (give her a heads up if need be, just say you're too busy)
She may be fine with a very simple event. If you are a big planner then that will be incomprehensible to you, I know. She may not be giving you feedback because these aren’t things she wants and isn’t really sure how to respond. If she said she is fine with the bridesmaids wearing whatever, then pick a dress you like and wear it. Lots of people have weddings that don’t have color coordination or any esthetic at all.
Why do you care so much about her wedding? If she wants a wedding, she’ll plan it. If she asked you to plan the wedding, you need to set expectations between the two of you. From the post, it sounds like you really jumped in and are now upset she doesn’t care as much as you do. You get to pick your own dress and hair and makeup. Most people would love that! If she’s not happy with the output, that’s on her. If she can’t send out invites and no one shows, also on her.