Bride venting

Oh, you're going to have a hard time if this kind of thing gets you all upset. I had 3 bridesmaids and because of work and just life there was never a time when we could get all together to look for dresses. I went with two of them (individually, the others weren't there) and the third went completely on her own. Also, some people just aren't into the whole dress shopping experience. Be disappointed for a bit and then realize that it's really nbd.

Thanks I needed to hear that this morning. I said it's the first cry of probably many more until the big day.

No offense, but I’d be annoyed and rolling my eyes if I? were a BM and the bride invited everyone over for an information session. It’s so unnecessary. Either send a group text or just invite your friends over for fun.

What do they need to "learn" about dresses and shoes? One you wear and the other goes on your feet. You basically threw a party to inform them of things that could easily be told over the phone or text.

Goodness what did you need to teach them about dresses? I know you're hurt but I'd for sure roll my eyes at this as well. Seems like you just wanted another event to have your BMs fawn over you.

Send them an email with what they need to know and send the hard written card in the mail.

Sorry OP but take this as a wake up call. No one cares about the details. The details are for you to learn and work on. They are details of YOUR wedding. I mean, what is there to learn about dress and shoes? In addition to picking a style that they can easily figure out how to get dresses (over your head, trough your feet?) and zipped into, what else is there? Shoes you also can tell them: open/closed toe and your color preference. That's that. I wouldn't be looking forward to go see my friend about her wedding. As a matter of fact these are things I text my MOH here and there while I'm working on things myself. If she has time and opinion we text/call away, if not I can vent real quick and continue my projects. Trying to monopolize your time with your friends to make it all about the exciting day (for you) is going to give you lots of problems, and push your loved ones away. That is usually how brides end up with BP backing out or creating drama among their girls. Be careful on that road.

Dry your tears and move on.

You are better off starting a group text. Your BMs have lives outside of your wedding planning. And, speaking from experience, the more people you try to get together in one room at a specific time the harder it is.

Hun breathe. It'll be ok. I have 5 BM a matron and a maid of honor. 3 of my BM have had their dresses for months. My matron and maid just got theirs last Wednesday and the other two just got theirs yesterday. This is the least of your worries. Just believe they will get them. If you purchased anything still give it to them

I'm sorry you're disappointed, and this is one of those early wake up calls in wedding planning that many of us have. No one cares as much about your wedding as you. You won't care as much about your friends weddings as they do when their time comes. It's just one of those things that the sooner you realize it, the better. You can talk alllll about your wedding to us!

So much drama this is why I did not have a BP!!!! Sorry OP this sucks.

Leila, how is this so much drama?

OP, I'm sorry you're so upset, but honestly if I were a BM I'd probably not attend an event like this either. This if YOUR wedding, they don't need to be included in the planning unless they ask. You pick the dresses for your BP, if you want matching shoes you pick and pay for that.

If you continue with high expectations, you will be disappointed through your planning. BMs are not employees, they are not props. They don't need to plan or attend any meetings.

I have yet to actually sit down and meet with any of my bridesmaids in person. my BMs are all scattered. MOH is my BFF who lives two hours away. one is an hour away with two children and a full time job. one, my niece, lives in KS. the other is in MA and i havent seen him in 2 years. I had to call them all to ask if they would be bridesmaids, and i wanted so bad to do it in person. its not going to be possible to get all of them together at one time all the time, especially if there are six of them. honestly, not trying to be rude, but just calm down and breathe. they have work and other things going on, and its going to be hard to get them together until before the wedding. as long as they support you and are going to be there on your wedding day, then it really shouldnt be a problem. if you lash out at them, it will only cause more issues. i would let them know they upset you if you need that closure, but i wouldn't get angry at them or they might begin to not want to be part of your wedding.

I agree, you expected too much from them. Of course we want them to be as excited for our wedding as we are but, honestly, it will not happen. Of course they are excited for you and excited to be part of your big day, I am sure. But expecting them to get together for meetings and things is probably just wasting your time.

Think about it, has there ever been a time that your friend had a party, whether it was a b-day, baby shower, retirement, etc, and you were excited for this new chapter in their lives but, when it came down to it, not so excited about the party and maybe even canceled last minute? I am sure there have been, and that is the types of things that will happen to you with your wedding planning.

Just share all that excitement with your Future Spouse, and expect less from your wedding party and, trust me, in the long run you will be much happier and less stressed out.

If you really want these people in your wedding, you need to make it easier for them by following some of the PP's suggestions. This in turn will make your life easier.

Good Luck to you and congrats on the planning.

I'm sorry you felt bad, but none of that was necessary.

It's 2017. Information can be passed along by phone (call or text), email, or even social media

I'm sorry. That would hurt my feelings too.

I can see why your feelings are hurt, especially since you put SO much work into this event for them to probably get to know each other but also maybe look at different dresses and choose the ones they want to try on. I'm sorry this happened to you, but you are right - this too will pass!

I would have had hurt feelings too, but I'm sure it isn't out of malice. I'm the first of my entire friend group to get married, and FH is the first other than his older sister. No one knows what to do or how to do anything, etiquette, or deadlines. Everyone is super excited, but I'm the only one who has time to go to all of the little detailed events.

What I did for my bridal party is just text them dates of things I think would help them or that I wanted company for.

"Hey, there's a bridal show this Sunday. Want to come? I'll pay for your ticket."

"I'm filling out invitations tonight. I'd like some company, if you can come over. I'll cover dinner and some wine if you can join me."

"We can bring a third person to our catering/cake tasting. Want to join us?"

"If there's any questions you have about anything, let me know! I've been reading up on everything, so I can help."

The only things that got to me were the ones that the bridal party was saying they would do and didn't actually do, and the things they're supposed to do that they didn't. For example, not scheduling their fittings unless I did it for them (but I made them do it themselves anyway, I had to draw a line somewhere), not sending bridal shower invitations when they said they would, or planning sleepovers/get-togethers with me without asking me if I'm busy first and getting mad when I have an appointment.

Pick and choose your tears! They happen a lot in this whole process!

First off let me tell you I feel exactly the same, You want what you want for your experience!! Don't listen to these people saying that your doing to much or that they shouldn't show up. You clearly know everyone and if you told them in enough time then they should have scheduled accordingly. This definitely just shows who you can depend on and who you can't!!!