I wrote another post but was short on time so wrote a very confusing post so clearing it up here.
To make things easy:
Bride - KC
Friend - Lexy
So my best friend of 11 years (since beginning of high school) asked me to be her MOH along with her sister in August. Her wedding is this Saturday. Her and I have been extremely close all the way through high school, college, and now. For context, her future husband and her have been on a rollercoaster since high school, breaking up, getting back together maybe 6x (this was due to her not feeling like she liked him while he was in love with her the whole time). I was the only one in her friend group who said that she truly is herself when she is with him. Long story short, about a year ago before they even got engaged, they booked their wedding venue. I was the only one including her family that knew they put down the deposit. We have been extremely close and she was my MOH in my wedding.
Fast forward to August, she asked me to be her MOH. She did however say the her other friend, Lexy, was going to be extremely hurt and upset once she found out she was going to be a bridesmaid. Lexy is very outspoken and can sometimes be abrasive. For instance, when KC and her now future husband were dating, Lexy would say "if you are getting back with him, I do not want any part in it." When Lexy found out that KC was engaged, she said "I am happy for you, but wish it was me." KC is very non-confrontational so it made sense that she was worried to tell her. Well after Lexy got asked to be a bridesmaid, apparently she was sad. However, KC never told her that I was MOH but rather just said her sister was MOH and didn't mention anything about me. As time passes, I am still hidden as the MOH.
Fast forward again to 4 months later, I was trying to plan the bridal shower and was thinking about the bachelorette when I get a random text saying from KC that Lexy was planning the bachelorette. I was very sad and upset as I had plans for it and nobody even asked me if it was ok for her to plan it. I then felt it was right to let KC know that I was upset so I texted her how it hurts me that I am hidden and not able to plan the bach and how im feeling. KC then replies saying that she didnt mean to hurt me but it is just hard with Lexy because she would of been pissed if she didn't have a part in planning it. KC then says she is going to make Lexy another MOH.
I got over it and was like ok that is fine. At the bridal shower, i spent over $4,000 to put it on along with her family and when guests were leaving, they were thanking lexy for throwing it and lexy goes "oh you are welcome" when she did not spend a dime on the party. I didn't even ask for any monetary help from the other bridesmaids. I then asked KC after the party if she had asked Lexy to be another MOH like she said she was going to do. KC said that she didn't formally ask her but she said to her "Oh, my sister is still pretty young so you and Ally (My name) are basically the MOH's." KC proceeds to tell me though that she was unsure if Lexy got the hint. We left off at this.
Fast forward to this week, and I asked KC what the plan was for the wedding, she gives me a brief overview. I then let her know I can send out any information to the bridesmaids but she didn't really answer that part and we went on talking about other things. Next thing I know Lexy begins sending out all the communication for the wedding this week such as information about the rehearsal dinner and how she is also planning a post-wedding party bus so look out for details. I had no idea about any of this and I am one of the MOH's. For reference, Lexy does not think she is MOH as far as I know and does not know I am MOH.
I am still hidden as MOH for this Saturday after everything I have done for her. (For reference, they also had a church wedding last week which i was originally invited to but then go disinvited because they said that the chapel was too small to fit more than 20 people. Lexy was not there either but they told me in October I would be invited, and then I wasn't anymore. KC also told me that she wanted me there for any post church wedding activities on that day but I was also not invited to dinner, neither was Lexy. That day I still decorated her apartment for a surprise when they came home from the church wedding)
I feel like I have been disrespected throughout all of this especially being hidden and having all the MOH duties basically taken away. I do want to give my friend an ultimatum to either reveal that I am MOH or I will attend as a guest.
I honestly feel like this was not right and I was taken advantage of. Please help me know what to do and if I should confront her/attend as a guest if things aren't made right.
