Bridal/lingerie Shower during Covid 19

You shouldn’t expect people to throw you parties even outside of covid times. If they offer, that’s great and you should totally enjoy it, but it’s never an expectation.

If your wedding isn't till next June, then I doubt a shower is on anyone's radar right now.


You should never ask or expect anyone to throw you a party where the sole purpose is to celebrate you and give you gifts. Even before covid, it would be inappropriate to expect people to fly out for a shower.
Lingerie is highly personal, I wouldn't rely on someone else to get your size, comfort, and personal taste right. Lingerie is underwear. Your familiarity with it has nothing to do with sexual activity.
You can buy gifts for yourself, people do it all the time. It is not your bridal party's job to fly out during a global pandemic and subsidize your boudoir shoot. On top of that, your wedding is more than half a year away. It's very possible you'll get a shower, but much closer to your wedding date, by which time covid will have hopefully calmed down.

Agree with pp that you shouldn’t count on a shower to get lingerie for the shoot. The lingerie gifts I’ve seen at bachelorette/showers vary a lot in size/style/quality so it is very possible that you wouldn’t receive anything that fits and which you want to feature in photos (also consider whether you are comfortable sharing bra and panty sizes with the guest list).
Since you are going through the time and expense of a boudoir shoot you should buy “outfits” you want for it. There are tons of companies with online options (adoreme, hankypanky, VS) and you can return what doesn’t work.

Showers are typically done a month to two months before the wedding. It’s super early to be worrying about this right now. If someone wants to throw you one, they will reach out, especially since you will be the one providing the guest list.
If you want lingerie for a boudoir shoot, yes, you should purchase it yourself. Those are accessories (underwear) for something you’re choosing to do on your own, not things other people should have involvement in.

It's totally fine for you to throw yourself a party. Nothing wrong with that at all. If you're worried about COVID, you could do a shower by mail or a drive-by shower so that everyone would feel more comfortable. There are invites already set up for both of those on zazzle.com! Just an option if you do decide to go that route. Everyone says there is "etiquette" about literally everything - I say it's your wedding, do whatever the hell you please. I'm having my bridal shower (thrown by my mother rather than my bridal party) like 4-5 months prior to my wedding simply because that's what I wanted to do. Nobody can tell you what to do or what not to do, so ignore the negativity. Go make a registry (Target, Amazon, Bed, Bath, and Beyond, etc. offer these so that people can access a wishlist that you and your husband make for wedding gifts) and include the registry information on your invites so that you will get gifts. These are typically aimed more torwards households so that you and your husband can get started easier and have a few important things after the wedding. As for the boudoir shoot, I'd say you should buy your own stuff. Nobody knows you like you know yourself, so there's no telling what kind of crazy stuff you might get. I have a very specific style of lingerie that I lean torwards, so if I were you, I'd buy my own lingerie in order to stay true to myself. I am, however, already married, so I have some experience with that sort of stuff. I'm not sure how your girls would feel about the group boudoir shoot as that might be something they're not comfortable with. I'd refrain from asking unless you know them like the back of your hand because it'll be awkward if they aren't comfortable with the idea of that because they'd have to turn the opportunity down. I definitely 100% say do the boudoir shoot specifically for your husband because I did one and LOVED it. It was totally nerve-wracking at first, but in the end, it was so much fun.
Don't let people shame you for asking these questions either. You're new to all of this and your questions/feelings are 100% valid. Ask away. After all, that is what WeddingWire is for. Try to enjoy the process of everything coming together and don't stress the small things. Wishing you the best of luck!!! ❤️

As many have said, do not expect anything, especially in times of Covid.

I'm a little confused by a couple of your statements, "am I supposed to buy my own gifts? I've already bought myself engagement gifts just trying to enjoy the moment." - what kind of engagement gifts are you buying for yourself to enjoy the moment? As a self empowering woman, I would buy myself whatever / whenever I want and for no reason at all. I don't need an excuse to buy lingerie or anything.

If you want to have a boudoir shoot, you should really purchase your own lingerie, only you can try on styles and find the look you're looking for.

There's still plenty of time for pre wedding events to happen for you but yeah, i don't think even pre pandemic, it's something to expect.