Bridal Shower

Not necessary, meant to "shower" the bride with gifts for her new life. Traditionally couples didn't live together until after they were married, so that would set them up for their new house. Not so much the case anymore. Traditionally women get invited, family and friends. Whoever is invited to the shower MUST get invited to the wedding. Traditionally the maid/matron of honor and bridesmaids plan it, but it could be a close female relative - mom, aunt, sister, cousin, mother in law. My mom is planning mine.

Bridal showers aren't necessary, though they are a great way to help the couple get items that will help them start their life together. It's meaning is to "shower the bride/groom with gifts" before her wedding. The gifts are typically things that are for the couple together (kitchen items, towels, bedding, dishes, etc) rather than things like purses or shoes or things intended for just one of the people in the couple. Typically, women who are close to the bride (friends, family, etc) are invited. However, some people do couples showers, where they also invite the guys too. Whoever is invited to the bridal shower should also be invited to the wedding. The bride should not host her own bridal shower - typically, the bridal party or a family member will offer to host. If no one offers to host, then there is no bridal shower.

Well, parties aren't necessary for anything, but that doesn't mean they aren't awesome and special. If people want to give you a shower and you want one, enjoy it!

I didn't have one. I felt that it was a waste of time and money. If you decide you want one, the bridal party or a family member should host it for you.

Unnecessary, but still optional events. I think they served a very practical purpose historically when brides and grooms typically moved into their first home together, and needed all of the basics to stock their new home. Nowadays, most couples don't move straight from their parent's house to their married home, so they already have all their household basics. If you are in that boat, and don't need more "stuff," host a bridal brunch instead - it's still a great way to get all of your friends & family together to celebrate the upcoming wedding.

It’s up to you with what you choose but I’ll give you my experience for my showed. I know traditionally the immediate family never hosts a shower because if the mother hosted it, it would look gift grabby. It seems like this is changing these days. Maybe a sister could if she was the MOH. And obviously it’s only if people offer to host the shower. I ended up having three which I thought was absolutely ridiculous but other people were offering and one was kind of forced on me. At first I thought it would just be the one in my hometown which was all aunts/grandmas/family and one childhood friend (haven’t lived in the town since HS). Then in my new town across the country where I live with my now husband, a lady from my church asked to host one so I could get to know more people there. My MIL asked if she could invite some friends but the hostess said it would be too crowded, so then my MIL decided to have her own “meet and greet” bridal tea which I was more comfortable with because I felt strange getting presents from women I’d never met before. I guess they all commented to my MiL that they wanted to do it because they knew my husband his whole life and they were excited for him. She ended up changing it to a shower anyways without my knowledge (she is a kind women but not so aware of social etiquettes). I was very appreciative of the gifts as I moved to this country with a backpack and a carry-on luggage after living abroad for five years and we actually desperately needed the things we registered for (towels, a blender, a vacuum ect.). If you’re already living with your husband then a shower isn’t as necessary IMO as the purpose is to set up the bride from moving from her parent’s house to her husband’s and you most likely already have most of those things unless you want really upgraded gifts. The people I didn’t know as well got us really small things that were not on our registry anyways so it wasn’t that helpful as we had mostly duplicates and non-returnable items that I’m trying to figure out what to do with now. If I could do it over again, I’d be more adamant that it just be a tea/brunch rather than a second or third shower. It’s just hard when you’re going through it because you’re trying not to hurt anybody feelings or turning down their hospitality, ect. 💕

When it comes to wedding there is so much involved it's not necessary to do everything. I would do it if your really want one, have a friend or family who is eager to plan it for you and if it will not add additional stress to the planning process. I decided against one but I am having the girls over a couple weeks before the wedding to watch movies help with decorations and have some wine and pizza.

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We currently don't live together and we'll be moving together after the wedding.

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That sounds like a fun and intimate idea!

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We currently don't live together and will move together either a few months before the wedding, or right after (depending on how fast we purchase a home). So we'll need lots of household items.

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Thank you for sharing! wow! 3 showers! I can't imagine all the energy you must have used to attend all 3 lol! You're very lucky tho and have lots of people around you that love you!

I had one and i really enjoyed it!

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Yay! What did it consist of? Did you plan it or someone else?

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My bridesmaids planned it.

it was so fun! they planned some games, nice food and a photo wall, etc.

it was also a nice chance for me to mingle with all my friends

View Quoted Comment I didn’t know 50% of the people if you count all who came! It was a bit overwhelming! 😅

I don’t understand the hostility toward them? They are optional but your guests will bring physical gifts whether you register or not because they want to share your happiness and provide what you need to get started with your new life together, even if you have been together forever. Unless you have endless disposable cash, everyone wants and needs something. There was a post on Instagram the other day on the topic that said “don’t think of it as a registry. Think of it as a wish list of stuff we want that we would never spend our own money on” and that is so true.


People invited are only those you are close to are invited to the wedding. Coworkers and social clubs/churches, etc will host a shower for you because they want to share your happiness and they know they are not invited to the wedding, and it’s rude to turn them down.
The bride is the guest of honor so she does not plan any part of it or put money toward it. She will provide a list of (usually) female guests local to the hostess’s area who are invited to the wedding and a date of availability.
Anyone who is not the bride can host it. There is no limit to the number of showers someone can have. At the same time, there is no reason it has to be a fancy expensive dinner since most from your mom and grandma’s generations were cake and punch at someone’s home. You can serve sandwich/cheese/fruit platters from Costco if you want something more substantial than just cake and there is no reason to go broke. Party City has inexpensive decorations. Have it in a backyard or a local park and call it a day.

View Quoted Comment That’s awesome! ❤️ When did you have it? How early before your wedding?

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Mine was a few months before