Bridal Shower... with no registry?

She wants cash. If you don't want to give cash, don't bother with a gift.

Well she shouldn't be planning her own shower, but since that's already done, I would probably just send a card apologizing that I can't make it, with maybe a bed, bath, and beyond gift card in it or something.

This is definitely money grabby that she planned it herself and doesn't have a registry.

Don't go and send a gift or don't send a gift. It really is up to you. No registry means that they prefer cash, but you can send them whatever gift you would like. Have you spoken to your brother about how you and your family feels? Also, as her FFILs you can also host a shower for her and plan things your way.

ETA: words

I agree with Faith. Sometimes money is more useful to a couple as opposed to presents, but there's a proper way of asking for it. (instead of saying nothing.) I'd send a gift card as well.

She wants money. Give her money. I had 3 registries and most of my gifts were cash and wine. I think majority of my guests were happy that the gift opening was over quickly so we could get back to mingling.

Cash for a shower is so strange. How awkward to sit and watch someone open envelopes of cash.

Send her a toaster.

She is having a shower and no registry? That isn't a subtle way of asking for cash, it is a blatant money grab and it is tacky beyond belief!

Send a card, and be done with it.

Showers are for physical gifts, not cash, but many a successful shower has been held without a registry. Send her some really nice tea towels with a pair of silicone oven mitts. Or, a good cutting board and a set of steak knives.

I'd be skipping it. She's throwing her own shower and basically asking for cash.

I'd be skipping that entirely.

I would just pick somehing random out from bed bath and beyond. I would not send cash or a gift card. That's not the point of a shower. Why would you have a shower if she's just going to be opening up a bunch of envelopes with cash? Just no. She seems kinda greedy. She's throwing her own shower too, how awful.

This is weird. I would never give a couple cash at their shower. Showers are for physical gifts. That's literally the entire point.

Like everyone said, she's probably hoping for cash. I'd either send a gift card or something that's personalized. Like Catlady, we received a personalized cutting board at one of my showers and it's awesome.

Since it sounds like you can't make the date anyway, rsvp that you can't attend. I would not send anything either, just bring a nice card & gift or cash to the wedding instead

I wouldn't not send anything, she's going to be your sister in law, I feel like a card and gift card is okay. Maybe even a gift card to their favorite restaurant, just to give something that's not cash.

After the Edit, I would day nothing.

Send your brother a sympathy card....J/K. I wouldn't send cash maybe a gift card to a restaurant.

If you aren't comfortable giving her money or a check, i'd send a gift card it may not be how you'd like your shower to go but hey- it's not your shower!

plus, if you don't go and don't send a gift then I guess you can expect her and her husband (your fiancé's brother) to give you guys anything either.

She is hosting her own bridal shower?? Yuck.

I wouldn't send anything. Edit: This is your brother's future wife, so I would send like a restaurant gift card or gift card to Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, etc.

It is not required to send a gift for a shower you can't attend (its nice, but definitely not a requirement).

ETA: What does your brother think about all this tackiness?? A potluck wedding?? Not inviting your fiance?? Wtf... he is part of this planning process too!

You should probably talk to your brother about all that. I would definitely try to talk some sense into my sister if her and her FH were breaking all of these etiquette rules. I also would ask my sibling why my future spouse wasn't invited in the first place.

HOW RUDE!

I would send cash or nothing. Probably nothing, tbh.