Bridal Shower vs. Wedding Registry

It's rude to use the honeymoon registry period.

This will not go over well.

Asking for money is rude, so having a honeymoon registry is rude.

A shower is intended to "shower" the bride with tangible gifts, so if you don't want actual presents, do not have a shower.

How do you plan to have a bridal shower without actual gifts?

A honeymoon registry is tacky and unnecessary. Adults know how to give you cash. I know this has been all over the news and even in WW I think, but the reason it is, is that the companies are sponsors. Of course they'd be saying it's a great idea. It's not. They take a percentage and you get a lump sum of leftover money and the side eye of your guests. ESPECIALLy for a shower.....that's why it's called that.

There isn't ONE THING in your house that could be upgraded or replaced?

Make a small registry and most people will give you cash for the wedding anyway. If you don't ant shower gifts, then let your hosts know it's a no gift shower.

If you know someone is throwing you a shower, register. Showers are for box gifts. No one wants to watch you sit there and count money.

Yes it is rude. If you truly don't need ANYTHING than have a no gifts ladies brunch/lunch, but you will probably still get random gifts. Also don't expect other people to pay for your vacation.

I agree with what the ladies have said previously. You either register for gifts for your shower, have a no gift shower, or your don't have a shower at all.

I would suggest doing a small registry with upgrade items you really want, and skipping the honeymoon registry. You will still get lots of cash/check gifts at your wedding. But honeyfunds are deceptive to guests, they take a cut and asking for money is rude.

For a shower people will want to bring boxed gifts, that is pretty much the point of a shower. If you don't want boxed gifts, don't have a shower.

I know a lot of people getting heat for this and maybe I will for this but one of my friends has a small household registry and a honeymoon one. They could go to their wedding website and click on a link. The link led then to a honeymoon page where guest could put money towards things they could do on their honeymoon. Like swim with dolphins or go snorkling, etc. I thought it was fun and creative, not tacky at all. The guest had a choice. Instead of the bride and groom getting the usual "make sure you do this while there..." the guest were able to help by putting money towards an activity.

Most of the bridal shower is spent opening presents. The guests are usually very excited to bring you something and watch you open it. There's not much of a point to it if you don't actually open presents. A lot of brides say they don't need anything and that's often true, because we're getting married later in life and are already established. Think about upgrades for your kitchen or bathroom for gift ideas. Maybe some nice matching towels, some new sheet/comfortable sheet sets, even things like tools or a space heater. Think long-term: will you be entertaining in your home one day, having lots of guests over? The bridal shower should really have tangeable gifts, so get creative.

As for the wedding, a honeymoon registry is rude. It's gotten more PR lately but if you get past the first impression (I don't need anything, guests will love contributing to an experience!) and think about it, it's rude. A percentage of the money is taken so guests are pretty much just giving you money... minus some money. If you do a small registry for your shower, guests will see that most presents have already been purchased and they will give you a nice card with some money.

Get a small registry. People know how to give cash on their own. We got plenty of cash to pay for a honeymoon (if we had chosen to use it for that) without a honeyfund.

Honestly, if you only want cash, don't have a shower. A shower is traditionally to SHOWER the bride with gifts for her new home/life with her husband. If you don't need those things, to me it just seems gift grabby to say "Shower me with money!".

@Brittany, you know the money doesn't REALLY buy that activity though? It buys a printable certificate you can include with your cash gift, stating "This money is for your dolphin tour!"

Brittany, you're not actually buying those activities, though. You're putting money in a pot, and then the company cuts the couple a check for the total collected (minus their own fees). That swim with dolphins you thought you were paying for? Well suddenly your "friend" doesn't feel like going to the Caribbean and had decided to upgrade to the new iPhone instead. That's not what you intended the money for and if I were in that position, I'd be pissed as he'll at my supposed "friend". I say "friend" in quotations because a real friend wouldn't feel the need to beg their nearest and dearest for money for a sex vacation.

Ohhhh. No, I didn't. Thank you for letting me know though! It looked like a smart thing to do but I suppose not. I just didn't think it LOOKED tacky. She didn't have a shower though I believe.

@Brittany guests are "contributing" to these specific activities but not really, because they're just donating that amount and it's going to an overall fund. But the honeymoon registry people take a fee. So guests could write a check for $100 to the bride and groom. Or they could buy a $100 activity such as swimming with the dolphins but that activity isn't actually purchased and the bride and groom end up getting $97.

Adults like to give money at weddings, so I don't see the point in making a Honeymoon Fun middle man rich in the process?

ETA: sorry I didn't mean to make another comment explaining this toward you, I was just later than the others!

Like others have said, Honeyfunds are deceptive. They take a cut and the money doesn't actually go towards activities. You just get less cash than if your guests were to give you a cash gift (which they will do without being asked).

Small registry, no shower (or no-gift shower).

Brittany, this is the second piece of horrible "money" shower-related advice I've seen from you in past couple days. What you are describing is a honeyfund / honeymoon registry, and is exactly what every one of these comments is advising against. Asking for money in any way, shape, or form is rude, whether for a wedding, birthday, housewarming, swim with dolphins, what have you.

Regardless of how we feel about honeyfunds, you don't get a bridal shower if you don't register for boxed gifts.

Maybe an electric bill registry? A student loan registry? A grocery shopping registry?

It's all money and people know how to do that.

Celia I'm totally starting a student loan registry. Or maybe just a GoFundMe?