bridal shower vs bachelorette party

If people offer to throw both for you, it is perfectly acceptable. I think of the bridal shower as a "tame" family affair (brunch usually) and the bachelorette party as a night out on the town with your friends! Personally I am just heading to the city (20 minutes from us) for my bachelorette, out of town can get pricey and might exclude some of your bridal party/friends who are on a tighter budget

I had both. Friends hosted the Bach and family hosted the shower.

You wait until someone offers to host one, and defer to the hosts/guests budgets.

Yes, I had both, but I didn't have a destination bachelorette. All my BMs lived in different states across the country, so my MOH planned activities the day before the wedding as a bachelorette party when we were all in the same place. My two showers were planned by my family in my home state on one side of the country and my MOH went to that one because she lived nearby and my other shower was planned by one of my BMs and two dear friends where DH and I live. There was no pressure on my BMs to attend any pre-wedding events that was unreasonable for them to get to and they planned what they were comfortable doing.

I had both, my sister (MOH) planned both. Bridal shower was at a winery, bach party was a night out on the town.

Oftentimes, out of town trips are expensive and not doable for a lot of people.

Im having both also. My family hosted a coed wedding shower. This was out of state so it was family, family friends, and my best friend. My bridesmaids are taking me to miami for bachelorette party. Luckily they were able to make it happen since we are all live in different states. I wanted it to be just the four of us. We are going in august and i cant wait!

Where do you live? Vegas and Miami are like 2000 plus miles apart.. that's a long flight and a LOT to ask of your bridal party IMO.

I live in chicago and my BMs live in Missouri and Texas. When I said Im having both I was referring to having a bridal shower and bachelorette party. I specifically said bachelorette is in miami. Friends are hosting and this was their idea. Im grateful to have friends like that

I'm not having either. But I've also been with my FH for a long time, we have a house, and we basically have what we need. I'm not doing a bachelorette party either. We are doing a combined party with our friends since we have the same friend group.

@FutureMrs.DAO I'm near Chicago as well

@marchbride awesome! Im in oakbrook

We all stay in Chicago I guess my bridesmaid was picking my brain for ideas.

I had both and I loved both. Would love to give you more deats about the bachelorette party but I don't want anyone to be offended *insert eye roll here*

I am having both. Both are out of town, I live in Washington DC, the bachlorette party will be in New Orleans and the wedding shower will be in Pittsburgh (it's being thrown by my FH family). Because I chosed a destination bachelorette party, I offered to pay for the accommodations for all of the wedding party members so they can attend. For the wedding shower, we are car pooling down (4-6 hour drive, depending on traffic), and I found them accommodations with FH family as the still live in Pittsburgh. Further, I told my bridal party to choose one or the other to attend (they had asked what was required of them in this role) but they weren't required to go to both or either if they couldn't or didn't want to.

I'm having both, my MOH/BM are setting up as a surprise ( i only know some details) and my cousin who isa BM is setting up the bachelorette party.

I am having both, thanks to FH sister and my friends, and both are a surprise! Definitely wait for someone to offer to plan it, and see what they come up with. Don't force travel, since everyone might not be able to afford it.

You do nothing. Personally I think it's unfair to ask for or even hint at a trip for a bach party. It's a huge cost.

If you want to go to Miami or vegas, you can do that when your friends aren't expected to pay your way. You can still go with them but not under the notion it's for a bachelorette

You can have both if offered to you

If someone offers to throw you both, it's perfectly acceptable. I'm having both. My family is hosting a bridal shower for me and my MOH and friends are throwing my bachelorette. Unless you are asked what you want to do, I don't think you should suggest where you want to go. Your MOH may need to plan something smaller due to her budget and it would be unfair for her to offer the bach and you respond with, "oookay, miami or vegas or please."

I'm having both. You'll have to wait and see if anybody offers to do either. My family wanted to host the bridal shower and my MOH wanted to plan the Bach party. We're going to Vegas for my bachelorette party but only because my friends and MOH just wanted an excuse to go to Vegas, lol. I didn't suggest it.

My bridal shower was thrown by my aunt in MD and my bachelorette party will be in Key West! I've got friends coming from NJ, NC, and GA.