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Dedicated May 2012

Bridal Shower Timing (in proximity to wedding)

THW1234, on August 5, 2011 at 9:48 AM Posted in Planning 0 15

Hi ladies Smiley smile My Mom and FMIL are throwing me a shower. The problem is that my parents will be traveling to Florida (from Michigan) during the months of February, March and part of April (they are snowbirds). My wedding is May 19, 2012. Our choice for the shower date are either Late January (Jan. 22) or mid-April (Apr. 8 or 15). January is 4 months before the wedding and April is only 4 weeks before the wedding. My Mom and I think January is fine, a bit early, but still OK. FMIL is worried about a snow storm in January (a slim to none chance), but is still OK with January. I would prefer to have it in January because it allows my mother and I plenty of time after the shower to focus on the wedding. Also, I need to fit in my Bachelorette party sometime in April (after my Mom gets home). In Michigan, anywhere from 1-3 months before the wedding is normal timing for a bridal shower. So, the question becomes, is 4 months before the wedding too early to throw a shower?

15 Comments

Latest activity by Jessica, on January 29, 2012 at 1:28 PM
  • Ashley
    VIP September 2011
    Ashley ·
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    Ours is 6 weeks before the wedding (this weekend). I don't think there's any rule, and I'd do what works best for you.

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  • Anonymous
    Super April 2012
    Anonymous ·
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    Pp i agree with! Who cares if it is 4 or 6 or ewhatever weeks ... I say if you can have it then have it then. =]

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  • T
    Dedicated May 2012
    THW1234 ·
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    Thanks in advance for any opinions Smiley smile

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  • Brandie
    VIP September 2011
    Brandie ·
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    Mine was in early June and I'm getting married in September. Part of the reason they threw it for me then is because one of my BM's is expecting and is actually due anytime so they didn't want her traveling too late in her pregnancy. I am so glad they had it early. It gave me time to write out thank you notes, sort through gifts and just take my time with it. If it was only 4-6 weeks before my wedding I think I would have been stressed. But again, it's what works for you and your family. I just know I enjoyed it being 4 months before my wedding.

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  • Mrs. M fka Sami B
    Master June 2012
    Mrs. M fka Sami B ·
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    I'm planning on doing mine closer to the wedding vs farther away. I want to do the bridal shower after the invites for the wedding have gone out so that the people attending the bridal shower know they are invited to the wedding. I'd just ask yourself if you'd feel weird going to a bridal shower for someone else 4 months before their wedding, if you wouldn't then I say it's probably okay.

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  • T
    Dedicated May 2012
    THW1234 ·
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    I think its a little strange, but it is a strange circumstance. People know I'm strange anyways... Smiley winking I think that it is an unspoken rule that if you are invited to the shower, you MUST be invited to the wedding. It would be very rude not to invite them to the wedding...

    Any other opinions...?

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  • T
    Dedicated May 2012
    THW1234 ·
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    Brandie - did anyone give you grief about having it too early? Just curious...

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  • Meghan
    Master August 2011
    Meghan ·
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    Ettiquette states within 3 months of the wedding. I don't think 4 weeks before the wedding will be a big deal if you're on schedule with your planning.

    Another issue with January- it's right after Christmas. People will still be financially recovering, so it will be more difficult on them to get you gifts, etc.

    I think a shower 4 weeks prior to the wedding is perfect! Your registry will be up to date as well instead of having to update it at least twice between the shower and the wedding.

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  • T
    Dedicated May 2012
    THW1234 ·
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    I would prefer not to have it in April. I would like that time to focus on the wedding (and more importantly, let my mom enjoy the wedding planning and not have to worry about the shower). What etiquette book are you reading that states "within 3 months" of the wedding? Everything I've seen only requires at least 2 weeks before the ceremony... Is 4 months before that egregious of an etiquette violation?

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  • T
    Dedicated May 2012
    THW1234 ·
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    When to Have the Bridal Shower

    The shower should take place anywhere from 6 months before to the week of the wedding. If many guests are traveling from out of town, it may make sense to have it close to the wedding, so they can attend. Otherwise, it can be nice to have it four months or more before the wedding, so that it will add to anticipation, without adding to a bride's last minute stress. (Some etiquette guides say to wait until after the wedding invitations have gone out, but I think it's fine to do it earlier, as long as all shower invitees will definitely be invited to the wedding itself.) As for time of day, the traditional time is Sunday afternoon, but really any time day or night is fine.

    Source: http://weddings.about.com/od/theweddingparty/a/showerbasics.htm

    They say up to 6 months is fine.

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  • Beatrice
    Expert August 2011
    Beatrice ·
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    Mines was last weekend and i'm getting married the end of this month. your date options look good to me, maybe april will be good.

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  • Christina Iafano
    Christina Iafano ·
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    We had ours 4 weeks before the wedding. I didn't have anything to do with the planning, so there was no stress involved on my end. I thought 4 weeks was nice because I had time to unpack everything and put it all away before the wedding gifts rolled in.

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  • Ab
    Master October 2011
    Ab ·
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    I guess you already decided then..But if you did do it in April you could always have the bachlorette party and shower in same weekend..would make it easier if any of your BMs were traveling.

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  • Ebony
    Super October 2011
    Ebony ·
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    Ours is 6 weeks before

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  • Jessica
    Just Said Yes January 2013
    Jessica ·
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    I'm actually having a similar dilemma, my wedding is in January, 5 months after my bridal shower in August but it was as close as I could get it without excluding family members who have to travel to be there, and then travel again to be at the wedding. So I say, if it works it works! Your wedding and wedding preparation should be a time to enjoy all the moments, and if having your shower earlier than some would expect means you get a better experience, that's what it's all about. Smiley smile and Congrats!!!

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