Bridal Shower Question

I always thought the host - I think games are silly but my mom was hosting and we played them and it ended up being cute.

Usually the host decides what goes on and what doesn't. A few games won't hurt and maybe the bride can soften her stance to appease your FMIL.

I've heard this story so many times. If the bride doesn't want any games, why can't the hosts just respect that? I just don't get it. I understand it's up to the host, but if the person I was throwing the shower for felt strongly about something, I certainly wouldn't make it about me and disregard their wishes.

I asked my MOH who hosted my shower to please not have any games and she didn't although I think she hates them too.

I always thought the host as well, but if the host doesn't respect the brides wishes, what can bride do? I told my mother when she threw my baby shower that I didn't want any games and she fully respected my wants. I don't understand why someone wouldn't take the brides wants into consideration?

Host. The bride shouldn't be involved in the planning

Host gets to choose in my book

Bride shouldn't be involved in the planning, but if the bride says to the host/hosts I do not want to play games, then they should take that into consideration before planning games.

The only reason this came up is because FMIL asked if it was okay if she threw her a shower, and the bride said sure as long as there are no games. I think it's a little silly that FMIL is getting so upset over this, but I always thought the host decided too.

ETA: I also think FMIL should just respect her wishes at this point rather than cause more drama.

Ultimately, the host decides. I will say for showers (bridal and baby) I've helped host in the past, my co-hosts and I generally ask the person being honored whether they like shower games and respect their wishes.

Did your FMIL reach out to the bride to ask about her game preferences and wants to ignore the bride's wishes because she doesn't like the answer she got, or did the bride give her preference unsolicited by her shower host? I think that, even though your FMIL gets to plan the event as the host, it's pretty crappy if she asked for the bride's preference on something and is intentionally ignoring it. If the bride's preference was not asked for, the bride shouldn't be giving any input.

The host, that being said I did say no to certain games that I greatly dislike- like the tp bridal dress! We played a couple cute ones at both of my showers- one where you had to guess what the bride (me) would pick, one where I had to answer a bunch of questions about FH (this was at the shower hosted by his aunts and he was there so it was great because he kept giving me hints!), and one where they told a story and the guests had to pass gifts left or right. Oh and there was one where guests couldn't say bride or wedding and if they did they lost a necklace- the person with the most necklaces at the end won a prize. That one was great because it encouraged people to talk and mingle without feeling forced to play a silly game, at least imo.

@BlueHen FMIL just asked if she could host the shower, and the bride said sure but no games. FMIL didn't ask about any games, so the no games comment was unsolicited...

I always thought games were part of showers because not much else goes on except for opening gifts.

If I am hosting a party in someone's honor, I'm going to make sure it's the party that they wanted and matches their personality. So if they don't want games, there will not be games. I'm not a fan of traditional bridal shower games either so I decided to have a little memory game instead. Guests were to write down a memory that they shared with me but not write down their name. Throughout the shower, I read the memories out loud and had to guess who wrote it. Guests commented that they really liked that and it was a great way to break up the time opening gifts. Maybe you can offer some alternative "games" to your FMIL that your FH cousin will actually enjoy.

I don't like games at showers - and by games I mean anything that it going to make me stand up and do something stupid! I don't mind the card games (fill out facts about bride to be or whats in my purse) or something of that sort. And I'm sure the bride to be would be fine with that! I have been to showers where had to get in a circle, play charades, or be blindfolded and it made me hate being there! I'm sure the bride to be would be find with card games or something of that sort - maybe like a date jar (people write down date ideas on a popsicle stick or guess how many kisses in the jar). Tell FMIL that and explain that is probably what she meant. After all she hosting! She has a right to plan how she wants but I think she should try to respect the bride. One of my family member did a shower one time that was super inappropriate (it was just a shower not a bachelorette or lingerie party) and they had dildo's, penis aprons, lingerie, male dancers! It was awful and the bride was really upset and did not find it funny - as did most of the guest (you know especially for little 8 year old cousin Sally).... And I'm sure that is something the bride is fearing! Trust me I'm worried my FMIL might do this because she was the one who hosted above event!

The bride requested no games and that should be respected. That's the only thing she had input on. Your FMIL still gets to decide on the invites, the decor, the food, etc. I would kindly hint to FMIL to let the idea of games go. People will enjoy mingling far more. Set up a mimosa bar and let people have fun.

I think the Bride should just grin and bear a little game, honestly, they are nothing.

Nothing to do? How about eating, drinking and actually talking to other people?

@Firstoneat I didn't say nothing to do... I just said not much else goes on except for opening gifts.

And I highly doubt alcohol will be a part of this shower, FMIL is against drinking usually...

I did not want games at my shower and my bridal party respected that. Instead, they passed cards around to guests while I was opening gifts and had people write a kind note, words of encouragement, or advice for marriage. A few people didn't do it which was okay, but it at least gave guests the option to do something instead of watching me open gifts. It can be super boring for people haha.

Well, shit. Games and no alcohol? The bride should definitely say thanks, but no thanks.

My MoH asked me if I want to know what was going to happen or if I wanted to be a surprise. I said that I wanted it to be a surprise, because I like surprises. I'm fine either way with games, and I assume we're at least having a quiz because in the past couple of weeks I've been asked: my middle name, how we met, my FH's favorite holiday, and the day we got engaged. I think it's okay to suggest that you don't want games, and I do think the host should automatically honor that, but if they aren't, than I think it's a deal with the games and make the best of it.