Bridal Shower Question

I would invite the women who will be invited to the wedding. I think that’s most common.

As long as everyone you've invited is also invited to the wedding, i think you're ok! small showers are totally acceptable--i wish mine had been smaller!!

No i think you're fine. As long as all of those women you invited to the shower will be invited to the wedding then you're fine.

You don't have to invite ALL the women to the shower you invite to the wedding (or men). But as long as you invite those from the shower to the wedding then you're good.

Really a shower isn't that fun for people to attend unless you are immediately family. It's basically a gift grab, so you are doing them a favor by not asking them to attend (they don't have to get a gift, they can spend their afternoon not oohing and ahhing over your wedding china, and they can then spend time with you only at more enjoyable activities). So I've never known a friend who was insulted that they weren't invited to a shower, more like they were insulted that they WERE invited to a shower and weren't invited to the wedding (big no-no), or they were ASKED to host the shower (also big no-no).

Not wrong at all. In fact very right. Showers ought to be for you very nearest and dearest

As long as everyone on the shower guest list is also invited to the wedding, you are fine. It's fine to want a more intimate shower. You can invite any woman who is on your wedding guest list to the shower, but you don't have to. You can choose to just invite a small group of those women who you are closest to.

@Rusty you're not being helpful. Please stick to the letter writer's original answer instead of poo-pooing wedding showers in general. It's okay if you don't like wedding showers, not everyone else has to dislike them too.

With regard to number, I think you are exactly right about number of people (wedding showers are generally fairly intimate) and who to invite (close friends and relatives). If you have bridal party members that live in the same city, they should be invited too.

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I'm not poo-pooing them in general. I think they are great when you are close family. But for extended friends they aren't so great that people tend to be upset over not being invited. If my sister had a shower and I wasn't invited, I'd be upset. If my friend didn't invite me? Not upset. Sorry if it was taken to mean all showers are terrible. I just think it matters how close the relationship is.

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It's not our place to tell someone else how to answer. Often, very valuable points are raised by someone who is not 100% on topic. Rusty was validating the OP's opinion that no one is likely to be offended that they are not invited. She is correct as shower guests, should be limited to your nearest and dearest, not every woman invited to the wedding.

When anyone posts online, they have to expect a variety of opinions.

You did everything right.

You wanted it small - you kept it small.

All of the women invited will be invited to the wedding.

Have fun!

Nah, you're definitely not wrong! An intimate shower with 15 sounds good. You could invite more if you really wanted to, but I think your reasoning (you're not paying and don't want to overwhelm FSIL) is very thoughtful.

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I feel similar about showers, and yes all the ones invited will be at the wedding also. Thanks!

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My sisters are my bridal party so automatic invite 😊 thank you!

Ahh you are all so helpful and I feel much better. Thank you!!!!!

You're fine! You absolutely don't need to invite everyone to the shower. Have fun!

I mean I wouldn’t want to sit through a shower where I had to open 75 gifts in front of 75 people I may or may not know well.... now 15? That is manageable!

No need to invite everyone to the shower. Just your closest family will do!