Bridal shower plus one

Is the plus one invited to the wedding? If so, let it go. But if not, then kindly explain to your friend that it is considered rude to invite someone to pre-wedding events when they are not invited to the wedding.

When she RSVP’d, why didn’t someone tell her extra people can’t be accommodated?

View Quoted Comment Agree! I don’t know who the plus one is. I know they aren’t invited to the wedding.

View Quoted Comment So she Texted me when. She got the invite stating love the card I’ll be there. Thought that was the end of it. She called my mom today and said auntie count me in for two I’m bringing my friend. My mom is no confrontational and said okay. She knows how much I adore my friend. When my mom callled me I was shocked! My friend is planning her own wedding and I just can’t beliebe she would think it’s okay.

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Then I would explain to your friend that only your invited wedding guests are invited to the shower because they are gift-giving events. And even then, only your nearest and dearest get an invitation. It would be very awkward to have a stranger there especially when she is not invited to the wedding.

Why someone even wants to go to a shower for someone they don't know is beyond me.

We aren’t doing plus ones for our shower. Like those people who we know as a couple will be invited as a couple. Otherwise it’s just addressed to the individual

Yea, in theory your mom should have told her they can't accommodate her plus one. I understand her not wanting to get involved. I handled my friends RSVP and a few people said they were bringing another person. I inquired with her first, she told me they were okay to include. But if they weren't i was going to let them know we could not accommodate a plus one.

View Quoted Comment Honestly if your mom already said okay, I’d just let it go. And try not to let it bother me. Since she already got the green light, I’d be worried she’d take any back pedaling as YOU not wanting her there and she might take it personally. I agree with PP that’s it’s weird that some rando would want to go to a stranger’s shower but that’s besides the point (maybe she’ll change her mind anyway)

id say, if you want your friend there, let it go.
i don’t think you guys are breaching etiquette by having a non-wedding-invited guest there since you didn’t invite her anyway so the faux pas is on the friend not on you. But since your mom said “okay” I feel like the damage is done, and the uninvite would be worse

View Quoted Comment So odd! Also this is a women only shower no couples. She knows everyone from my side so there shouldn’t be anxiety of not knoening anyone. Seriously why would anyone want to go to a strangers shower!

I think it's time to cut the middle man and talk to your friend. "Hey friend, my mom said you were bringing someone to the shower? Can you help me out with this because I'm confused" I love being confused... I'm confused a lot... it helps make confrontation less confrontational. If she says, Oh yea, I'm bringing my friend so she can get ideas for her shower (or something equally ridiculous) you can respond with "It's really not appropriate for someone not invited to the wedding to come to a shower and I'm not comfortable having someone I don't know at such an intimate event. I'm sorry my mom did not tell you this but she wasn't sure what to say. I hope you are still going to be there since I'm really looking forward to sharing this experience with you!"

Definitely address it with her but I wouldn't let this slide. It's a WEIRD thing.

If it was me I’d probably let it go. It kinda sounds like making a big deal out of it could cause even more drama and resentment.

How did you resolve the situation? I’m in a similar position, with a friend asking to bring her sister to the shower. I’d like to hear how you handled it in the end!

Honestly, let it go. Is it really going to matter in 5 years?