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Dedicated September 2021

Bridal Shower Invites if you have to Cut Wedding Guest list bc of Covid

Th, on March 10, 2021 at 11:10 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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Hi all!

So our wedding is pretty large rn, about 240 people. I am trying to be realistic in the fact that we may have cut the in person invitations due to covid restrictions come our fall 2021 wedding, but waiting until we have to get formal invitations sent out to see what regulations are (just about everyone knows the specifics of where, when, times, and what not for the wedding and a lot of the definite in person invites have made hotel reservations already since we are getting married labor day weekend). Now in the meantime, my mom and MOH are throwing me a shower in early June. I was speaking with my mom today and we were wondering the etiquette on shower invites.

Do we only send out shower invites to people we know we will send in person wedding invite to with our current regulations even if we end up being allowed more in person as time goes on? Is it rude to invite someone to your wedding and not your shower? Or do we just invite everyone we plan on inviting to the wedding and if we have to cut the list and sent out virtual invites bc of covid? I feel like the first option is better, but was not sure of the new found covid etiquette. Any advice on this would be great!

Thanks!

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on March 10, 2021 at 1:38 PM

Expert November 2021
Sara · on March 10, 2021 at 11:13 AM
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I would only send shower invites to the people who you know will not be cut from your wedding guest list. It's definitely not rude to invite people to your wedding but not your shower, but vice versa would be rude.
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Expert September 2021
· on March 10, 2021 at 11:19 AM
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I think to avoid rubbing anyone the wrong way, I may would only send the shower invites to those invited to the wedding. We had a similar issue, but luckily, our distant family members/friends understood the strange circumstances and are happy to be able to celebrate us at the shower.
As far as "etiquette" goes, I think it's proper to only invite those formally invited to the wedding! Good luck!
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VIP September 2020
Willow · on March 10, 2021 at 11:21 AM
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Showers should be for local guests that are definitely invited to the wedding in person and are close enough to you that they wouldn't mind giving you a second gift. The guest list should be small. Thus you don't invite everyone who is invited to the wedding.

Don't invite someone to a shower but not the wedding. That's saying, I want a gift, but you can't come to the main event.
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Expert September 2020
Amanda · on March 10, 2021 at 11:47 AM
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Only invite those who will 100% be invited to the wedding.
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Devoted September 2021
Jay · on March 10, 2021 at 1:33 PM
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I'm in a similar situation (& similar timeline of September wedding, likely June shower). We made a guest list with the current restrictions (in my state, 100) even though that number may go up. We have the added complication that 100 is ONLY for venues, & personal/home gatherings are capped at 25. So we have a local-family-only list of 25, which we will use if we host a shower at a private home, & a slightly larger list that adds in some friends (around 40) if we opt for using a venue. For both lists, we are only including those who are in our smaller list of 100. Full guest list is closer to 160.
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Devoted September 2021
Jay · on March 10, 2021 at 1:33 PM
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Oops--somehow posted twice & can't delete!
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on March 10, 2021 at 1:38 PM
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Only send invites to those on the smaller guest list who are invited to the wedding.
The only time someone not invited to the wedding can take part in a shower is when they host it for you such as coworkers, book club, chuch members.
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