Bridal Shower Invite for Step-Mom in-law

I had almost the exact same situation just flipped. My future step mother-in-law hosted my shower. Her and my FMIL hate each other. I asked the step MIL if she would be comfortable hosting the MIL and she said as long as she's not rude to her. So I asked my MIL if she would want to come and she said not to bother inviting her because she doesn't want to be in step MIL's house. I just gave everyone options and if they didn't want to be there I'm not going to force them. Just do what you can and don't force them. If she doesn't want to come so be it. I would just ask your MIL before inviting your step MIL.

She's hosting... Idk. That's a tough one. However, since the FMIL is hosting idk that I'd push it. If I didn't like someone and the bride was pushing me to invite them I would just not host anymore.

Hope put it nicely, I completely agree.

I'm sorry, that's a tough situation to be in. If it were me, I would probably just speak with the host. Looking forward, they are going to need to find a way to "share space" as they will need to be around one another (especially if you have children). You can't be expected to have separate events to accommodate them so maybe now is the time that they can begin "practicing" for the future. Good luck.

I would just not invite her and give deference to the host. My step grandma skipped my shower, and she skips 90 percent of the event my grandma attends.

I would talk to my FH and get his opinion, honestly. He probably knows the climate of their relationship better than anyone. If FH isn't helpful, I would talk to the host. Chances are your FMIL won't want to host an invite with your FSMIL in attendance, but this requires some conversation. Good luck. Let us know how it works out.

Hope's advise is sound. These ladies are adults and they will need to figure it out. You're not having two separate weddings to accommodate them, right? Don't put yourself in the middle, especially as they are FH's mothers. If the need arises for someone to address their behavior, let FH do it.

I am in this situation but with my dad and step dad

I have always said there will be one party and it's open to everyone. If you don't want to come well that's on you.

Miss S is right about FH approaching any issues.

Ya FH and I chatted about it and I'll talk to the FMIL first, and then he'll run interference from there if need be. He brought up the point too that his dad and step-mom are hosting the rehearsal dinner so they're going to have to deal with each other then anyway.