Bridal shower Invitation help!

I’ve never heard of this before, but if it’s essentially just asking for money, I wouldn’t do this. Showers are for physical gifts.

I’ve been to a few greenback showers. It’s pretty common especially for couples who are already living together- We have been back and forth about it because his Mother is throwing us a shower but we don’t have anything we need to register for as of right now

View Quoted Comment I don’t know that I would say it’s common, but maybe it is for your social circle. I’ve attended a dozen showers in the last 3 years, all for couples who live together, and none of them requested money. All my friends/family members have just registered for upgrades of things they already had, plus home decor pieces or big ticket items like new luggage, a roomba, etc.

I've never heard of this, and I've been to/been invited to several showers for couples who have lived together for years, but it might be a location/social circle thing. Personally, I'd feel weird asking people to give me money, so if that's really all I wanted, I'd probably try to make a smallish registry with things we're like to upgrade, and include giftcards to places we actually go to. My FH and I have been living together for 5+ years, and although we had an engagement party instead of a shower, we still have a registry to upgrade our home with things we've wanted or wouldn't buy ourselves.

There is no tactful way to ask for money. If you don't need things that you would get at a shower, I'd forgo having the shower.

Showers are for physical gifts, not money. If you don’t want physical gifts, politely decline the offer for a shower.

That’s exactly what I explained to his mother.. I feel awkward asking for money especially because we are comfortable in our living situation - it’s not like we are buying a new home or need help with anything — just so hard to explain things to MIL 🙄 wish me luck!

I agree with your FH. A shower is for physical gifts. Take an inventory of your home and look at some items you'd like to replace. You can register for gift cards too. A money shower is not a shower I would attend. It seems greedy.

Can you change it to a stock the bar shower or recipe shower?

Yes Kelly! Good idea! MIL is pretty set in stone and is planning it I just don’t want to be tacky asking for money! I feel awful doing that and she is planning it and took my “no” as a “well I’m planning it so I’ll take care of it” sooo I have to put my foot down

I say screw tradition! More couples live together before getting married, it's understandable that you have most of what you need. Why should you have to give up having a shower if you want one? My fiance and I have lived together for over 2 yrs, and bought almost everything new. So while there's some things we could use (we will register for some stuff), we mostly are asking for money for the honeymoon. This is the jist of what I'm putting on our invites. Part of it I found online, the rest I made up...

"We know it's not conventional, it's not the way it's done. But instead of a toaster, they'd like a little fun! So if you'd like to give a gift, to help them celebrate... Some help towards their honeymoon, they would appreciate!
But if tradition is more your style, they have that covered too! They registered at Target, Amazon, and Menards for some items they could use!
Above all else, they want you join them to visit, eat, relax, and celebrate before their special day!"

Obviously you could change it up however. But I feel like it gives an option to guests on what they want to do.

THANK YOU! I will show her that and maybe we could do both so it’s not just strictly money ! Perfect! Win win !!

I didn't know what greenback meant, I had to Google it. I'd skip a shower all together. Even if I was invited to a shower that had wording on it basically saying "the bride wants cash, no gifts" I'd either skip it or just buy a random gift.