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Just Said Yes August 2023

Bridal shower if eloping?

Arnela, on August 4, 2022 at 4:00 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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Hi everyone! So my fiancé and I will be having an adventure elopement next August with just us two. We have invited immediately family to the courthouse to get our marriage license and join us for a nice dinner after and then we plan to also host a post-elopement reception bbq at my parents’ house a few weeks after with around 60 people being close friends and family. I keep getting asked if I will still do a bridal shower. I originally thought no because we are not having a wedding and I don’t want anyone to think we just want gifts or money from them by having one. But everyone I’ve given that reason to has said they wouldn’t think that at all and that I should still have a bridal shower because I am still getting married, just in a different way, and will still be throwing an event after that provides food and alcohol for everyone. Now I am torn, what do you all think? Obviously if I had one I would only invite the people that would also be invited to the post elopement reception. Thanks for your input!!

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Latest activity by Michael, on August 6, 2022 at 11:34 AM

Rockstar October 2023
Cece · on August 4, 2022 at 4:20 PM
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I think this is totally ok! You will still be hosting a celebration, and only inviting those people. Plus your friends and family are the ones encouraging it! Enjoy your shower!
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VIP October 2022
Mrs.evans · on August 4, 2022 at 4:27 PM
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Hi Arnela first Congratulations to you both and yes they are right you are still getting married. And you are having a reception so why not still do all of the pre-wedding stuff you can have your bridal shower and he can have a bachelor party. It's just not begin the regular way you still can have fun and all of the bridal experience like rest of us you are still a bride. So go have fun I promise you won't regret it. Enjoy the process of it all
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on August 4, 2022 at 4:56 PM
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Etiquette says that if you elope, you forfeit all pre wedding parties. They can host a shower if they choose as coworkers and church groups do who don’t expect invites. But it’s taboo to ask someone to host this for you because you decided to marry without guests. The post-wedding party is unrelated to the elopement or shower.
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Rockstar November 2054
Jacks · on August 4, 2022 at 5:02 PM
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I would say that the pre-wedding parties are really only for those who are invited to the actual wedding. Otherwise it may look to people like a bit of a gift grab. I do think you'll get mixed opinions here though.
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on August 4, 2022 at 6:25 PM
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I admit I don't understand the need for an extra party. You are planning a courthouse wedding with dinner (nice!) and a celebration party later with a bigger guest list (also nice). So, what chances for celebrating are you missing and what would be gained by a separate "shower"? I would just focus on the two parties you are planning and enjoy your guests there.
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Super August 2022
Samantha · on August 4, 2022 at 7:54 PM
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I wasn't going to have a bridal shower because we're having a small destination wedding, but then a friend of my mom's was adamant that I have a shower. So I had one 😂 Since the bride doesn't do the hosting, if someone wants to throw you a shower, definitely let them throw you one!
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Super September 2022
Sarah · on August 5, 2022 at 8:55 AM
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I think since people keep asking and seem like they want you to have one then it would be okay.
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Expert October 2023
Julija · on August 5, 2022 at 10:45 PM
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If you want to do one go for it. You are still doing a reception of sorts so I think it works out just fine. 🥰
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Rockstar October 2023
Michael · on August 6, 2022 at 11:34 AM
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If people want to celebrate this with you, the shower seems fine. This is ultimately looking toward your marriage. The invitees will know your basic plans, so they decide from there what they want to participate in.
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Bridal shower if eloping?

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