Bridal shower hosted by....?

To clarify there are two MOHs right? Reach out to the flaky one and say hey we need to figure out the invitation wording, I need your input.

Whoever is hosting the bridal shower should be listed on the invite. If you're the only one hosting, just put you. If she is helping, put both. I think putting your name first then hers is fine.

My mom has been the one primarily planning my shower, but my FMIL is also on the invite. Not a huge deal.

Unless she's contributing time, money, or effort she is not hosting. I'd leave her damn name off!

Also, never heard of a mother not wanting to help host??

I definitely read that as "bullshit invite" before it clicked that B.S. stood for bridal shower. Lol! If the shower is at your home, I would put your name first. If its at her home, her name would go first. If its at a neutral location like a restaurant our a rec center, I don't think it really matters.

@Simple - Yes, there are just two MOHs. No other bridesmaids. I've been reaching out to her, but according to the bride, this is just her personality. She'll probably end up bringing a dish, but I'm doing most of the food, decorations, games, invitations, etc.

The thing is, I'm not exactly mad at her for not helping. I don't really need her to help. But I don't want her feelings to get hurt. They've been friends for over a decade, so I think adding me as a late MOH already did some damage. I don't mind giving her credit for no effort. I'm just struggling between not hurting her feelings and giving her the majority of the credit for something she didn't do. Plus I don't want the awkwardness of guests thanking her for hosting and her overly vocal mother jumping in to correct them.

ETA: The shower will be at her mother's house, but she doesn't want to cross old etiquette boundaries (i.e., mom throwing a party to get gifts for her daughter was a major no).

How about just saying the shower is hosted by "The Bridal Party" and leave it at that? No more drama necessary.

I like Jennifer's suggestion

I like Jennifer's suggestion also, but how about not mentioning who's hosting at all.

Please come celebrate with the BRIDE! or something of that nature

I don't think you need to specify hosts....

I initially left the hosts off, but her mother thought it would be better to let people know which social circle this was for. Leaving out the host might leave some confused as to whether it's a work shower or a bride's side shower, etc. I think I might just put "her MOHs" or "her bridal party" and leave it at that. Thanks for your help!

If your doing all the work, i would just put your name.

If you're doing all the work, then you're the only one who gets the credit. I have 2 MOHs too and one of them has really become flaky, unresponsive, and uncooperative to both me and my other bridesmaids. The other has really stepped up and taken charge and I am so grateful to have a friend like her in my life. I would be offended FOR her if she gave some credit for all her hard work to someone who didn't deserve it.

And you're not at all offended that this friend of yours basically promoted you so you would throw her a party?

Am I the only one thinking this?

Take the credit you deserve!

So, when you approached the other MOH about planning a shower, did she say she wanted to be a hostess? In my mind, being a MOH does not automatically make someone a hostess for the bridal shower because it isn't a requirement for the job. But if it was discussed that she is "helping" with the shower, then I don't think it matters whether your name or her name goes first as hostesses.

I'd definitely only list yourself as the RSVP contact, though.

I was the second MOH at my friends wedding. Her mom was the "host" because it was at her house. For planning we just made sure that every thing was covered. As far as the invites...it was a fb invite for everyone on fb, and personal call invites for the others. It worked out well.

@Maui - I can see how it comes across like that, but the situation is very different. She really is the sweetest girl. When she initially picked her bridal party, she apologised to me for not picking me as her MOH. Because she's known this friend for much longer, she felt it was necessary to have her as her MOH despite the fact that they're not as close as they used to be. As time went on, her and I were helping each other a lot with our weddings and she thought it was unfair to not recognize me as MOH, so she "promoted" me. She is very wedding naive and didn't even think of a shower until I let her know I wanted to plan one for her (I was still a BM at the time). I honestly just want to do a nice thing for a very sweet friend of mine who deserves it. In the end, she'll know who was behind it. But I'd rather step into the background/share the credit than start unnecessary drama or trouble in her other friendship. Just not my style.

@Samantha - In the beginning, the other MOH was very much on board. She even offered to host it at "her house". But given that she still lives with her parents, the bride's mom insisted that it be better to be at her house instead. Since then, her responses kind of fizzled out. I texted her to get her back involved and she said she would as soon as she got home. But that was a couple days ago and still no word.

I think Jennifer's suggestion is good- then you're not stepping on any toes