Is it appropriate for a bridal shower to be hosted for an older couple?
I am in the 2nd half of my 30s and my fiancé is in the first half of his 40s. This is the first marriage for both of us, we only met 15 months ago and we don’t live together now. He will be moving in after we get married.
I have lived on my own for 13 years. I have had a stable career for the last 11 years and I have accumulated typical registry things out of necessity when I was first starting out - most of it I bought from the thrift/dollar store or cheap on Amazon but the items are still functional. While we might want new sparkly things, we don’t “need” them like younger couples do. Being that we are older, we both have stable careers and can pay for new sparkly things if we need them. Needless to say, our position as an older couple is not as dire as it is for younger couples (gosh it would have been helpful to have these items gifted to me when I was 24 instead of having to buy them on my own…but it’s not a burden now).
Between the two of us we have three cousin weddings in our family the month before our wedding- all of these cousins are younger than us (only one of the couples might be on par with us financially…that’s a big “might”).
My MoH really wants to host a bridal shower for me and my mom wants me to have one too. I know my MoH wants to host one because I gave her one 6 years ago (she about 30/31 then so still within the typical age range for first marriages unlike me now). I think my mom (being one of 8 kids and me being one of 32 first cousins on her side alone) just wants to get/give attention that she sees her family give younger brides.
I’m kinda at loss at how to feel about all this- I appreciate that people want to honor us but at the same time I really don’t think we should have a shower and ask for things we already have- especially during times of high inflation and peak wedding season. Even the idea that people might give cash (without us hinting or asking) makes my stomach churn because I know we don’t need it as much as younger couples.
What is the appropriate and most respectful stance to have on this issue? “Appropriate” in terms of our age and “respectful” in terms of (1) being gracious to those who do want to honor us, (2) recognizing that things are expensive and (3) we are not the couple getting married in the coming months that has the greatest need of household items.