Bridal shower for microwedding?

Since they will be long past ( not next day) the actual marriage, the reception is fine, but not a shower with those not invited to the wedding. You can have a party, paid for and hosted by you, at any time, with no gifts. If you want a bridal luncheon, coffee and desserts, or light supper or appetizers, cocktails, and NO GIFTS event, to socialize, fine. Otherwise , it is ride for others like your family or BM to plan a party for soliciting gifts, something only for your nearest and dearest friends and family, a shower, when the very fact you are not inviting them to the wedding says they are not your nearest ind dearest. A shower gift is a second gift in addition to a wedding gift. Most people invited to your reception, will honor the old tradition of giving a gift ( 1) on the occasion of marriage, even if not at your ceremony. Some won't. We received about 20 gifts from people invited who could not attend. And another 40+ from good friends and family beyond the 190 original invitations, or those **** miles away. About 70 gifts total from folks not at wedding or reception. So people may be generous. But expecting an additional shower gift from people not invited to the wedding itself? No.

I say why not? Most people would show up at the reception with a present anyways so why not have the shower and get them there?
I get the whole etiquette but I’m not one to follow all rules. Do whatever makes you feel good and whatever makes sense to you and FH. Don’t miss the opportunity of having a shower.

Only people invited to the actual wedding should be invited to pre-wedding events.

View Quoted Comment I agree. who makes these rules anyways?? if we weren’t having a huge reception I would understand, but so don’t see the problem if we are throwing a party and inviting everyone. thank you!

Thank you everyone! gonna think on it.

I would do a luncheon. You have food at the reception to thank them. Not sure what at a bridal shower will be thanking your guest for coming to the wedding.

View Quoted Comment Exactly! You do you and don’t worry

View Quoted Comment This!! We had a DW and had a shower where people came that didn’t come to the wedding. I was a little weird about having it at first because of etiquette (and told my mom so) but my BM and Aunts wanted to throw it (and my Aunts couldn’t come to the wedding) and extended family kept reaching out that they better be invited to the shower. So I clearly see no issue with it!!!

View Quoted Comment I’m also having a DW and some of my bridal shower guest would not attend the wedding. They were invited but simply couldn’t make it but they’re excited to celebrate with me at the shower.