Bridal shower etiquette?

Absolutely not. Most people just invite the women that they're closest to. I personally think it's a little rude to invite people that you hardly know to an event that's all about giving you gifts.

I would ask your FH about this. He probably knows those women better than you do and could make a good call on this. I know relatives/family friends that I don't know very well will be invited to my bridal shower, but that's because they know my mother well and want to be a part of things or know my FMIL well and want to welcome me to the family. Everyone's situation is different.

View Quoted Comment I agree! I think it comes across as greedy. The issue is I'm close with one of his grandmoms sisters but not the others, so I'm afraid of offending the other sisters. I just dont want to upset anyone if they're not invited to the shower!

View Quoted Comment I am currently awaiting his input, but he usually just asks his mom and then does what she says lol. Like I love his family but I dont want women there that I see maybe once a year. It would just feel uncomfortable to me

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I don't think that the "invite in circles" rule really applies to showers the same way it does weddings. Unless you've had issues with them being kind of petty in the past, I'm sure that they'll understand that your relationship with the one sister is just different and it's nothing personal.

View Quoted Comment Okay. Thanks for the advice!

I agree that you shouldn’t invite everyone. But you should probably include some women from his family. They’re going to be your family soon, after all. And if you never spend any time with them, you’ll never get to know them. I suggest asking him or his mother who would be most important to be there, and go from there. He may have an aunt or cousin he was close to growing up that he thinks should be invited. Or his mother may request just a few that are local. You can still keep it small and intimate while including some of his family.

View Quoted Comment Oh I'm inviting a large chunk of his family! His aunts and cousins are getting invited as well as his step dad's family. I just didnt know if I should be extending he invitation to great aunts and distant relatives and such. I'm very close with his family so the shower will be most of them!

We only invite close friends and family, not every woman on the guest list to the showers in our family,

View Quoted Comment That's what I want to do, I'm just afraid if offending people!

I was just in this situation! I was only going to invite my family and friends as well as my FH's family that I have met because of the same reason. When I mentioned it to his mom, she got her feelings hurt that I didn't invite everyone on the list that she gave me. I would mention it to your FH, and see what his opinion is. I just caved and sent everyone an invite because she was literally on the verge of crying.

View Quoted Comment I asked him and his response was just "ask my mom". But honestly I think I'm just going to invite who I want to invite. I am still inviting a large part of his family. I just want to keep the shower small because the wedding already has more people than I wanted

No way— shower should be nearest and dearest. For my shower the hosts consulted my MIL to see who, if anyone, from her side she thought should be invited (she only chose 3 people out of her much longer list of family and friends invited to the wedding)

View Quoted Comment See that's where I'm struggling. My FMIL wants to invite everyone. Not sure if she's helping pay for it yet, but I already have social anxiety as it is and I just want people that are close to me there. I'm just going to bite the bullet and give my MOH a list of who I want there. I doubt relatives want to come to my shower and bring me a gift when we barely talk to each other

You need to ask your MOH and whoever else is hosting, how many people the feel comfortable hosting. Maybe they can only afford 20, maybe 75 is ok - but those are drastically different budgets and events. Ask her and then go from there.

P.S. you absolutely do not need to invite all the women on your guest list. Typically it's just close friends, and family.

We invited all the women invited to the wedding (minus plus ones that weren't invited by name) that lived within 2 hours of the shower location. We also included bridesmaids that lived farther.

View Quoted Comment Will do. I'm seeing her friday so hopefully I can get a better idea then. She's buying a house so thinking she wants to keep it small. Which is what I want anyway

Nope. You get to invite who you want! I don't know everyone well on my bridal shower list, but they are all my FH's aunts and cousins. I'm inviting my aunts and female cousins, so I extended that courtesy to his family. Our moms each requested a few friends be invited and then the bridal party really is all on mine. You do you!

View Quoted Comment A shower isn't just a party to meet a d socialize with you, like a bridal tea. It is specifically to get a second gift, in addition to the usual wedding gift. And you are right, traditional etiquette is that you only invite those you are very closest to, and a few of the very closest family women of the groom. Not distant relations. Not girlfriends and wives of any of groom's friends that you hardly know, only ones you also know as friends. You are doing the right thing. A lot of people forget that it is generally thought kind of rude to ask gifts of someone who barely knows a person. Such distant people get invitations, and often think bad things, that people are greedy to expect 2 gifts from people who hardly know the bride. So do limit their invitation list. Most brides do.

I talked to my FH about it and he is being slightly annoying. He just keeps saying "If they're invited to the wedding they should be invited to the shower!" I told him I've been to plenty weddings were I wasn't invited to the shower and I didnt care. I think he is seeing it as a party to get gifts and I'm seeing it as an occasion to spend with the close ladies in my life.