Bridal Shower Etiquette

You don't have to have a lingerie themed bridal shower. I had a bridal shower with my little sister (flower girl) and her friends, my brother's gf's, my mom, MIL, GIL, and some of my mom's friends and my friends. I only received one gift that included some lacy undergarments, most of the stuff was household/decor items. Or you could have a stock the bar theme where guests get you different types of wine and bartending items. Good luck!

Lingerie parties and bridal showers are different things.

The thing is, I know that my two closest friends have already bought lingerie for my bridal shower...

Unless it is indicated on the bridal shower invitation, I would never presume to buy underwear for someone's shower. The shower is for gifts... not underpants.

Oh dear Melissa, I feel uncomfortable with a whole lot of my big sister's involvement in my wedding plan but as uncomfortable and sometimes annoying, I just want to have a good time with everyone's effort... It's all in their good intent so go with the flow. No one means any bad with their opinion or suggestions especially nosy 'old-fashioned & paranoid' family members.

although, sometimes I feel am the person paranoid and not them.... cos i want everything my way & perfect #lol

Maybe you could ask your girls to reserve that for the bachelorette party....

You are confused... Lingerie is what is given as a gift at a bachelorette party. If you have friends that have told you they are giving lingerie as a gift at the SHOWER - tell them it is not appropriate. The shower is for household gifts: pots and pans, bath towels, recipe books, etc.

All of you and your future husband's nearest and dearest female friends and relatives are typically invited to the Shower. If you are having a shower, FMIL and FGMIL need to be invited.

We are not having a separate Bachelorette party. My fiance and I live together and Agree that celebrating a last night of freedom is stupid. Especially considering that most of my friends are male. What we are doing is a battle of the sexes guys v girls bridal party that will replace that. Got that Idea off of here actually haha

So should I have a separate gift exchange then for lingerie?

Probably. You could always have a lingerie party if its something that you want. (Its not my cup of tea honestly). You can't bar your FMIL from the shower just because you intend to receive undies.

As far as I have seen at least where I live there are no lingerie in Bridal showers. Lingerie gifts are given during the bachelorrete party. At my bridal shower my grandma gave me lingerie that I opened in front of the 30 people including men that were there but we are Hispanic and that is just a normal thing for us.

So, the theme of your bridal shower is lingerie? Like your cake and all decor will resemble lingerie somehow?

I understand since someone else is throwing it for you it can be kind of hard to try to dictate, but in this case it's a simple conversation of hey, do you mind us having a different theme and if you would like to have fun opening lingerie gifts, why don't you just plan on opening the gifts the next day. Have the people you feel most comfortable with over your place and have a bottle of wine and open gifts. I'm sure not everyone would buy you lingerie, but whoever does at least you get to open it and not feel uncomfortable.

Whenever I host a party (bday party for my son, FH,) or when I was given my babyshower all times I chose not to open gifts infront of everyone. Not because I was hiding something, but because I like to take my time opening them and when you open them in front of your whole party things get mixed up and you sometimes don't remember who bought you what and it makes if difficult to write thank you notes. That's just what I do and no one ever asked why I'm not opening gifts. I also been to a few showers that they waited until the next day to open gifts. Maybe you can do something like that?

Or if you don't want to wait to open the gifts and you already know that the 2 of your closets friends bought you lingerie, then simply put their gifts aside (in your room, in your car, etc.,) and just open them infront of them and have a good laugh in private while opening them. It's not a huge deal.

You aren't saying they are having a penis cake or strippers, so I think it's an easy solution and you may just be overthinking it. It seems like you are the one that's the most uncomfortable, so just don't open the lingerie gifts in public. Don't stress over it. My matron of honor actually said she wanted to have a stripper at my shower. I just laughed out loud and said "Lets save that for the bachelorette party". She was totally fine with it.

Just politely ask your friends that you know have brought lingerie to give it to you closer to the time, or after the party. I'm sure once you say you dont want to die of embarrassment in front of FMIL and FGMIL they will totally understand lol, I couldnt imagine anything worse...

Your future in laws should def be invited to the bridal shower if your mom is. It doesn't have to be a whole sexual thing. Bridal parties are for you to receive gifts for you and your FH to have to start a future.. It's not all about underwear even if some is there

Maybe this is a regional thing but I've never been to a bridal shower where lingerie was given! It's always things from the registry. Lingerie is given at the bachelorette party, which only close friends and no moms, aunts, grandmothers, etc. attend

Like PP have said - a lingerie shower and a bridal shower are two separate things. Bridal showers are wear you gather with your bridal party, closest friends, aunts, cousins, etc. They usually shower you with gifts off your registry. Lingerie showers are more intimate affairs with your closest friends and aren't given at the typical bridal shower. I have lived in three different states (midwest, south, and east coast) and have never seen lingerie given at a bridal shower.

Unless it's a gag gift they should not be giving you that during the shower. I have never seen lingerie given at a bridal shower.

You can have as many showers as your friends and family will throw for you. You can do family and friends, just friends, just family. I've also never seen lingerie at a bridal shower. Most of the time it's gifts from the registry.

I've never seen lingere at bridal showers! That stuff is saved for bachelorette parties.

Around here, we always give lingerie at bridal showers! I've never been to a bachelorette party where gifts were given. That being said, I agree with many pps: just ask your friends to reserve it for a different time. You've gotta invite FMIL.

Here on the east coast, we usually give registry items AND lingerie at the bridal shower. My daughter had hers back in Oct. and got lots of things from her registry and some beautiful lingerie, some of which I bought! Back when I was married, the custom was for the MOB to buy her daughter a peignoir set for her shower. This was to be worn on the wedding night, but I doubt you'd see it as lingerie. LOL