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Sarah
Dedicated September 2019

Bridal Shower drama

Sarah, on August 8, 2019 at 11:08 AM Posted in Planning 0 9
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So my MOH is my fiancé’s sister. We definitely aren’t best best friends but I like to think we have gotten pretty close and have a great relationship overall. She’s currently 4.5 months pregnant. She’s super organaized type A personality who loves to plan events. She’s been doing a ton for my bridal shower, which I’m very thankful and appreciate of.

My other 4 bridesmaids and my mom have expressed frustration at her shutting down a lot of their ideas for the shower (this Sunday). Honestly I’m a bit frustrated about it too but I guess it is what it is. The latest is that she’s insisting on getting to the shower venue at 8 am to decorate with her parents, husband, and moms best friend. She wants the other bridesmaids and my mom to go around 10:30 to set up food so she can go home and shower. They are all a little upset and hurt because they are supposed to be throwing the shower together and feel like they should be a part of decorating and helping over FFIL, FBIL, and FMILs friend. The nicest tried to tell her they want to be there and she isn’t getting it. It’s really upsetting me that my mom and other bridesmaids are hurt. Not sure if I should speak up to MOH or let it go. I don’t want to put tension into her and my relationship or make her think i don’t appreciate her. But this is supposed to be a group effort. Thoughts?

9 Comments

Latest activity by Cher Horowitz, on August 8, 2019 at 7:49 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    If the MOH offered to host the bridal shower and didn't ask for help from these other people, it's up to her to host it. You can't accept someone's offer to throw you a party then tell them that they must include other people in their planning. I guess I understand the frustration, but there's really nothing that you can do here. She's the hostess, she can decorate.

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  • Sarah
    Dedicated September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    The understand al along had been that they were all doing it together and helping. There have been multiple texting/ email threads and a meeting between all of them and the moms. Although MOH is definitely running the show
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  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
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    So if only MOH is paying then she kind of gets the final say, I think she's being a bit unreasonable but that's how it goes with type As sometimes.
    Now if the other women are chipping in financially then she needs to let them be involved you can't just take people's money.
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  • Erin
    Expert November 2019
    Erin ·
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    My personal opinion is to invite her to sit down with you over lunch one day and just be open and honest. Let her know how much you appreciate everything she’s doing, you enjoy the time you get to spend with her, and that you treasure your relationship with her. Also let her know that you want everyone to be happy and to work together on things. Tell her that your mom and bridesmaids really want to feel included and to help out with the decorations. Bring to her attention that she may not realize she’s hurting feelings, but people are feeling very hurt and you do not want any ill feelings between anyone. Who knows, she may not realize how it is affecting everyone.
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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    It really stinks that your Mom and BMs brought you into drama that you should have no part in. I'd just let it be and not get involved. This is between them.

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  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
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    I have to ask, because of my own curiosity, but why is your FSIL your MOH if she isn't your nearest & dearest? No judgement, just wondering. Personally, if it were me I'd be telling my mom & bridesmaids that I am sorry they are feeling that way, and although I appreciate all they are trying to do, they will have to work this out with the MOH. Because they shouldn't be bringing you into this and creating unnecessary drama.

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  • Yana
    Dedicated October 2019
    Yana ·
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    Your comment was EXACTLY what i was going to say!

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  • Sarah
    Dedicated September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    I’m an only child so I don’t have any siblings of my own. Of my other four bridesmaids, none of them stood apart as the natural choice that I’m closest with. I do adore my FSIL and thought it would be a great chance for us to get closer.
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    I would let it go. This is between your MOH, the bridesmaids, and your mom. Getting involved could create more tension or drama

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