Bridal Shower, adults only?

She planned/is planning an amazingly sweet thoughtful shower for me at the place I really wanted to get married, but couldn’t afford to host my guests properly: a vineyard.

So this sparks my question, I am having children at the wedding, yes eye roll please but we have to because my FH is the baby of nine and we truly could not imagine getting married without his nieces and nephews there to celebrate with us.

But my bridal shower, I would like it to be adults only because it is a vineyard. I sent my MOH the list Monday and I received a phone call Tuesday with my grandma flipping out that children were not invited. I have four flower girls, who I have not formally asked, but family assumes I am having them kind of thing, and my grandma was pissed they are not going to be invited.

If I invite anyone who is under 21, it will add an additional 8 people (we pay per head at the bridal shower) and the kid’s meal is only $2 dollars less than the adult meal. And it’s at a vineyard with not much for kids to do – age ranges from 5-15.

So my question- am I being a brat for wanting an adult only bridal shower at a vineyard?

Sounds like the brat is the grandma. Why do they need to be there? Get a grip grandma. Not to mention, it's at a vineyard, not an amusement park. Children don't need to be at every damn event!

I've never attended a bridal shower that children attended. I'd try to push the point that it's a vineyard and that is not an appropriate place for a child. If that doesn't work you can always stretch the truth and say the vineyard wont allow anyone under 18 lol! Good luck!

Yeah I don't think there is any reason for the kids to be invited to a shower at a vineyard.

I don't think so! It's okay for you to want an adult shower especially since they'll get to go to the real event. I would just explain to your Grandma why you don't want children. Hopefully she'll understand.

@Penny, yes I will just keep her wine filled to the top - haha

@OG Alecia, ah that is a good idea! I may call to see if they have any "guidelines" on children being there!

Thanks everyone for your responses!

I would say that there is an age restriction. I mean, it could be stretching the truth, but at least the kids won't be bored and parents won't have to watch their kids.

It should be relaxing and fun! Having kids there is your choice.

I've only been to a few showers that kids were invited to. Honestly, it's just really boring for them. Kids don't care about home appliances haha. Maybe you could do something fun with your flower girls before the wedding to appease grandma without having to include them at the shower?

@MrsOtoBe that is a great idea!! Do something special that is better in their age range!

I think you're fine not inviting them. The only underage girl coming to my shower is my FSIL, and she's 15. Not a little kid.

You aren't being a brat. You don't have to have children there if you don't want to. I personally haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate little kids at showers. They always get up in the gift opening and everyone either thinks it so cute or has no intention of telling them to go away and let the bride/mother-to-be open their presents, so it makes everything take so much longer. As a guest I would be so happy to attend a shower with no kids there.

You don't need to invite the children to the bridal shower.

On a side note why would anyone eye roll that you are having children at your wedding? I am more likely to eye roll the people who go on rants about how the children will take away their attention. I think it is normal to have children at a wedding. Especially the children of the immediate family.

@Miami2NorthernVA - it was more playful than anything. Like I said, we couldn't imagine our wedding without them and are excited to have them.

@BecomingABenton not bashing you. Just hoping that it hasn't somehow become passé to invite your nice and nephew to a wedding.

@Miami2NorthernVA - Oh no, not at all . They are amazing kiddos. We do a lot with them and have special accommodations at the wedding for them (we have two special needs children coming, so we have a quite space set up for them in case the wedding becomes over whelming for them). Def did not take your comment as bashing. I really appreciate the feedback!