Bridal Party

Nope, you're not mean! It doesn't matter at all! I'm in a wedding this September for a childhood friend that I don't consider myself super close to anymore. She wasn't even the backup's backup of people I considered for mine, so I didn't ask her to be in ours. It's nothing against her, and I feel honored knowing that she values me enough to want me with her, but I have made closer friends in the years since we've been close and those people are the ones I want standing with me on my day.

You aren't being mean at all! I was in a wedding 3 years ago and she isn't in mine because I don't consider us close friends. I also have people that I grew up with that I keep up with, but I'm not close to and they aren't in the wedding either. I grew up with these sisters and the youngest is in my wedding because we're really close, but the oldest isn't.

You aren't obligated to have people in your wedding just because you were in theirs, and you have no reason to feel bad about not including them! Include those that are the most important to you, and who you want to stand by on your wedding day!

Absolutely not cruel at all. You want only the people who are the closest to you. Don't feel guilted into having people you'd rather not. It will be a nightmare, trust me just read some of the bridesmaids posts on here. Weddings are not a tic for tac type of things. Just because someone has you at their wedding or in their wedding doesn't mean that you are obligated to do the same. This is very common for people who were bridesmaids not to have those people in their weddings. And do yourself a favor and don't let people guilt you into letting them be in the wedding. Stick to who you want and don't bend on it.

What you are describing is exactly why you should not ask attendants earlier than 6-8 months or anyone out of obligation.


Your attendants should only be your closest innermost current social circle. This is not the time or place to ask in laws you want to get to know better or tit for tat because you stood up their wedding and rarely talk now. Roles are never reciprocal.
It is very common to have a small group of bridesmaids. Not rude or inappropriate at all.

Everyone on this forum makes me feel much better about my decisions! I appreciate everyone's insight. I was feeling kind of weird about it and I don't want to ruffle any feathers but at the same time - it is a celebration of my fiancé and me.

Thanks all!

Nope, you are never obligated to have someone in your wedding party just because you were in theirs! I have been in quite a few weddings of people who I did not have in my own wedding party. if I had included all of them in mine, it would have been too large for what I wanted. I only chose my best friend and my sister-in-law to be my bridesmaids because I know they will always be in my life.

It doesn’t really matter how it “normally works.” It’s your wedding and you do what you want. Your bridal party is as big or small as you want it! I’m just having one girlfriend with me as a friend, not necessarily maid of honor.