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Just Said Yes December 2023

Bridal Party

Chria, on September 3, 2019 at 3:37 PM Posted in Planning 0 11

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I am planning on renewing my vows with my husband. We have been married for nearly 3 years at this point but didnt have an actual wedding so the purpose of us renewing our vows is only to have the ceremony and reception I have always dreamed of having. I am deciding on my bridal party and I have a dilemma! One of my best friends who I would like to ask to be part of my bridal party is lesbian and is more on the butch side. I'm having a hard time figuring out how and what to ask her when I start that part of the process! What would I call her?? Please help!!

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Chria, on September 3, 2019 at 4:09 PM

Savvy September 2019
Liz · on September 3, 2019 at 3:39 PM
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You could always just ask her to be a bridesmaid and then ask her opinion on what she'd feel comfortable with having as an "official" title.
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Champion December 2017
earias · on September 3, 2019 at 3:46 PM
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Unless she identifies as male, then she would still be referred to as a bridesmaid. Her sexual orientation does not change that.
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VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on September 3, 2019 at 3:49 PM
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My FW is what many would call more butch too. I don't think there's a reason to change someone's title based on their orientation or gender presentation. My FW would be honored to be called a bridesmaid, but not so much on the dress. Are you willing to allow your friend to wear a suit or tux if that is what makes her more comfortable?
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Just Said Yes December 2023
Chria · on September 3, 2019 at 3:52 PM
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I have thought about this. Her kids call her dad, her ex wife called her her husband but all of her friends call her she. I don't think it bothers her either way and I know it is my wedding but I don't want to make her uncomfortable to the point where she doesn't want to be part of my day!
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Champion December 2017
earias · on September 3, 2019 at 3:54 PM
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I see. In that case, I would ask your friend what they prefer.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on September 3, 2019 at 3:55 PM
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A bridesmaid....?
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Just Said Yes December 2023
Chria · on September 3, 2019 at 3:56 PM
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I had planned on that already!! I won't make her wear anything that would make her feel uncomfortable! She would wear a suit like the groom's party but it would be in my bridal color rather then the groom party's color! We are doing navy blue and coral so it won't be a super girly color either. I'm sure she will be happy to be part of it but I'm self conscious about making anyone in my bridal party uncomfortable! It may be my day but I want them to be happy and comfortable as well!!
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VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on September 3, 2019 at 3:59 PM
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I'm not sure why she would be uncomfortable. Unless she has specifically stated something about her gender or not wanting to be in a wedding party, I say ask her to be a bridesmaid. If she has feelings one way or the other, allow her to express them, don't project.
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Master February 2020
Amber · on September 3, 2019 at 4:04 PM
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Honestly if you're not sure, I would just ask her! If you're that close of friends, I'm sure she knows you well enough to know you mean well and just want her to feel as comfortable as possible
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Expert November 2019
Kiley · on September 3, 2019 at 4:08 PM
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I've seen similar situations like this online... maybe bridesman? Or.. just say I would would like you to stand beside me and together work on what that title may be?
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