Bridal Party Spat

I would just leave it alone honestly. If she doesn't want to be involved, that's on her. Don't stress! At the end of the day make sure she has what she needs and is where she needs to be as far as your wedding is concerned. If she becomes so not involved to a point where she's doing things like not ordering her dress in time, etc. then you may need to have another conversation. Otherwise, I say focus on the bridesmaids that are actually being super helpful!

I can understand her being upset about not being invited to your dress shopping, honestly I'd feel the same way if I was a BM and wasn't even invited but the MOH was. I don't think the MOH should be who texts you the most while you are engaged, I think it should be who is closest to you. I don't think most involved = MOH, it should be MOH = most involved. So AFTER they are asked, she starts helping more. My MOH is super busy all the time, so she didn't get involved with wedding planning because honestly that's the job of the bride & groom. She helped when she was asked, and planned my bachelorette, but that's it. It sounds like she is just conflicted & hurt. Have you spent time with her one on one? Texted her one on one? About things not wedding related?

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She invited 8 people to her dress shopping, I don't need that many people. I didn't want that many people. I needed two honest opinions with similar taste as I have and that's what I got. Plus, it was a spur of the moment thing, there was a day-only sale at the store and seeing as how she lives 2 hours away, that's not something you can spring on a person. My MOH is my best friend, as well as being the most involved. My cousin and I have drifted apart, not because of this, but because of life, and we are no longer as close as we used to be.

As for reaching out to her regarding other things not including the wedding: No. Because phones work both ways. I work two jobs and I don't have time to do much hanging out with anyone. We went camping together in early September but that is literally the last time I've seen her/heard from her, wedding or otherwise. If she is truly hurt, then she should say something to me. Not act as if there is nothing wrong, but excludes herself and bottling her emotions because that would be unfair to myself and my bridal party to have one sour member. For her to be so upset over a title is selfish in my opinion.

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You should do you! I'm just saying to be sympathetic because maybe her being hurt isn't her fault and the friendship is worth saving? I think since you haven't heard from her and you haven't reached out to her is as much your fault as it is hers, like you said, phones work both ways. It sounds like you are super busy, but she might be too?

I wouldn't beat a dead horse....she isn't your MOH, you've explained how you came to that decision and that's that. Continue to include her in what you want to include her in and be sensitive to her concerns, but I wouldn't change your mind about MOH/bridesmaid.

I don’t really think it goes by who is most involved to be MOH. I made my sister my MOH because I’m very close to her and she knows me best. She is the type of person who likes being involved, but I don’t expect anyone to help me with anything. Of course you want your BP to show interest, but everything else is up to them to volunteer. I’m not saying that you should have made her your MOH, especially if you’re closer with your best friend, but she might be feeling left out. Again though, it’s really not up to you to explain your decision making process as far as BP and dress shopping to anyone.

I’m gonna be petty and say that I understand her. My MOH is also my cousin, she’s been basically my sister since I was little. I can’t imagine not acknowledging that love and bond with something special. I asked her to be my MOH and even though I don’t expect to be hers someday, I would honestly be a little sad if I wasn’t. Like I would feel like the sisterly love doesn’t go both ways. Also, we all have our own lives. Some people can be more involved than others. Luckily she is 45 minutes away from me but we have totally different schedules. I asked her to dress shop with me and she made the effort and we went two weekends in a row, even if she doesn’t ask about the wedding constantly or how she can help. I agree with a PP, maybe if she knew from the beginning she was MOH she would have put in more effort as opposed to just downplaying her role as bridesmaid.